Proverbs 20:5 says, "The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters." The implication is that the heart is a hard place to get to at times, complicated to understand, and difficult to adjust.
Extra time and energy are required to make heart connections with our kids. Some parents find this approach daunting. "What do I do about my day to day problems? How do I handle the misbehavior I see now? Changing the heart sounds great, but I have to make sure he gets his homework done tonight."
It's true that sometimes we just have to get through the day. But once you have a heart based approach, your problem solving strategies change. With your new outlook, even day to day discipline has a long range view. Sure, it takes time, but the alternative is scary. Focusing only on behavior often allows children to develop deep heart problems that eventually manifest themselves in tragic ways.
Many parents are lured into believing that if the to do list items are checked off, it was a successful day. Infortunately, if the heart issues aren't addressed, then eventually they create bigger problems than you ever imagined. Teenage rebellion doesn't start at age thirteen; it starts much earlier, in a young child's heart. Sometimes parents are shocked when their teenagers get involved with drugs or sex or get in trouble with the law. But heart issues rarely appear suddenly; they grow over time. Parents who discipline from a heart perspective learn to see and address deeper issues before they turn into bigger problems.
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