The things I pray about

Here's an easy to memorize poem that will help young children learn and remember what the Lord's prayer teaches us to pray:

God and me (Address)
and thank-yous many (Thank you prayers)
I pray for the church (Church prayers)
and leaders plenty; (Prayers for leaders)
Things special to me (Special to me prayers)
and help me grow, (Growing prayers)
Then I pray for others (Prayers for others)
and his way to go (God's way prayers)
He hears my prayers (Closing)
and answers them.
And in Jesus' name
I say Amen.

This poem will be more helpful for some children than others. Some kids will benefit from it as merely a reminder of things to pray about, while others will want to use it as a template to guide them sustematically through their prayers.

A final comment. For some children casual prayer may be the more difficult of the two types of conversation with God. For other children chatty conversation with God will come very easily. It all depends on their personality type. It's crucial that we not try to force our children into a certail prayer mold. Although it's important to have our children grow in both casual and practical prayer, it should be expected that some children will put a far greater emphasis on one than the other.

Pray the Lords prayer part 2

AS WE FORGIVE OUR DEBTORS

1. Prayers for others: Jesus taught us to pray for others, not just those who've hurt us or wronged us somehow, but those in our acquaintance who've fallen short (as we ourselves so often do).

2. Example: "Could you help Ryan learn to cooperate with our teacher more? Also, please help Grandpa feel better. Thank you for answering my prayers for Cynthia; she's very nice to me now."

AND DO NOT LEAD US INTO TEMPTATION, BUT DELIVER US FROM THE EVIL ONE

1. God's-way prayers: Here Jesus was teaching us to talk to God about leading us, keeping us, and protecting us. We should pray for Gods wisdom, guidance, and direction so that we can go his was and not the way of the evil one.

2. Example: "God, could you please help me be wise and always make the right choices? I know that you love me and that you have good plans for me, so please keep me on your track."

FOR YOURS IS THE KINGDOM AND THE POWER AND GLORY FOREVER. AMEN.

1. Closing: When our children close, we should have them affirm that God has heard their prayers and will answer them according to his power and will.

2. Example: "Thank you for hearing and answering my prayers. I know that you'll do what's best for me and for the people I pray for. Thank you! In Jesus name, Amen."

When our children are very young, their prayers can consist of an opening and a closing with thank-you prayers and special-t0-me prayers sandwiched in between. As we take them further in the process, we can introduce more of the kinds of prayers represented in the Lord's prayer. The most appropriate time to introduce a new type of prayer from the Lord's Prayer is when life gives us an opportunity to talk and pray about something in our children's lives that falls into one of the prayer categories. For example, if an election is going on and our children are asking about the process, this might be a good time to introduce prayers for leaders.

Pray the Lord's prayer

A good way to teach our children about practical prayers and help them understand some of the basics is to teach them the Lord's prayer. When Jesus' disciples asked him to teach them how to pray, he responded by giving them the Lord's prayer:

Although it's a great prayer to memorize and use in its original form, what Jesus was teaching his disciples went far beyond repeating the specific words. Jesus in effect taught us through this sample prayer how to pray, what our attitude should be in prayer, how we should approach God, and what we should talk to God about.

Here's a brief breakdown of some of the things that we can learn and teach our children from the Lord's Prayer (found in Matthew 6:9-13)

OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN
1. The address: Our children can go to God as their loving Father. They can also expand their opening by talking a little about God being their Father.

2. Example: "Dear God, thank you for being my Father. Please help me have a good prayer time with you."

MAY YOUR NAME BE HONORED
1. Thank you prayers: We should help our children recognize, acknowledge, and thank God for his love and care. Affirming his goodness helps to strengthen their faith.

2. Example: "Thank you for loving me and taking care of me. You're really great."

YOUR KINGDOM COME
1. Church prayers: We enter God's kingdom when we become his children. Jesus was showing us that we need to pray that more people will hear his story and become God's children. That involves praying for church leaders and workers and missionaries.

2. Example: "Please help more and more people become your children. Let Uncle John know how much you love him. Give our church leaders wisdom so that they can help more people."

YOUR WILL BE DONE ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.
1. Prayers for leaders: It is God's wil that things on earth will work out according to his plan. So we pray for and about current events and world leaders as well as for our own leaders.

2. Example. "Please give our politicians and all the voters wisdom about how to lead our country."

GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD
1. Special-to-me prayers: This is where Jesus taught us to talk to God about our needs, our desires, and our concers, about things that affect us and our lives personally. This is also where casual prayers come in.

2. Example: "Thank you, God, for giving me a good school to go to. I'm really having a lot of fun. Help me make good friends. Also, could you help me do my best at math and understant it a little better?"

FORGIVE US OUR DEBTS
1. Growing Prayers: The word debts here means the ways we've fallen short. Jesus was showing us that we need to talk to him about our personal growth, asking him to not only forgive us when we blow it but help us grow and learn to do things his way.

2. Example: "I know that doing things your way is best. Help me learn more from my Bible and understand it better. I'm sorry for yelling at my brother today; please help me remember to talk gently and help us cooperate better."

We'll finish the Lord's prayer next time.

What things should I be encouraging my children to pray about?

An easy way to explain to our kids what kinds of things they can and should talk to God about is to point out how they talk with us. We can divide conversation between us and them into two categories: casual conversation and practical conversation.

Casual conversation is talking about the weather and current events, about things that we're thinking or feeling. Casual conversation happens on the spur of the moment and can be humorous, informational, or just plain as-it-happens chat.

Practical conversation has to do with things that need to be talked about- things that are essential and/or beneficial to running a household, working together as a family, and having a well-functioning parent-child relationship. These conversations cover things such as coordinating family schedules, checking to see if chores are done, finding out how school is going, reviewing report cards, planning a vacation, and talking about something that one of the kids needs.

This illustration is a great parallel to prayer and can be very helpful in explaining the contents of prayer to our children. Prayer is made up of both casual conversation and practical conversation with God or casual prayer and practical prayer.

In casual prayer our children can talk to God about anything, anytime, anywhere. They can talk to him about how they feel, what they're thinking, what they're currently going through, what they're learning from the Bible, what their friends are up to, what their interests are. Every healthy relationship should have a casual conversation element that's comfortable and growing; the same is true of prayer. We should encourage our children to spend some time talking to God about their thoughts and about what's going on in their lives, just as they do with us.

In practical prayer our children should talk to God about the things he wants people to talk to him about. Many topics for practical prayer are outlined by God in the Bible, just as parents generally choose the practical conversation topics in a parent child relationship. For example, the Bible says that we should pray for those who have authority over us, that is, our leaders:

"First, I want all of you to pray for everyone. Ask God to bless them. Give thanks for them. Pray for kings. Pray for all who are in authority. Pray that we will live peaceful and quiet lives. And pray that we will be godly and holy. (1 Timothy 2:1-2)

For children, those in authority would include parents, teachers, church leaders, and political leaders. But praying for authority figures doesn't mean praying in vague generalities. Just as practical conversation in our home serves a specific purpose, so do practical prayers. In the verse above, we're told to pray for our leaders so that they may gain wisdom in making decisions that affect us, which is key to our living the life God wants us to live. Life, along with everything God created in and around it, works by prayer.

A good way to teach our children about practical prayers and help them understand some of the basics is to teach them the Lord's prayer.

Next time we will begin to break down the Lord's prayer for our children.

Praying with Preteens and Teenagers

When our children begin to want to pray entirely on their own, without us around at all, we should make sure that we're still available to them and that we help them structure their prayer time, perhaps scheduling that time to mesh with their bedtime. For example, if we want them in bed with the lights out at nine and they're currently spending twenty minutes reading their Bible and saying their prayers, they'll need to start the process by eight-forty.

It's expecially important that we continue to talk to our older children about our own prayer life and the things that we're praying about. That openness will encourage them to talk to us about how things are going with their prayers. We need to look for every opportunity to continue the prayer training process so that it doesn't stagnate. With that goal in mind, we should continue to help our children identify and celebrate God's answers to their prayers.

All the way through this training process we should let our children know things that they can pray about for us and things that concern our family. This will help them know that their prayers are real, that their prayers make a difference, and that we value their prayers. We need to remember to thank our children for their prayers and tell them how things turned out when the answer comes.

The foundation of prayer is a relationship with God. Helping our children learn about and grow in prayer isn't like teaching them math or science, we're helping them get to know and learn to trust God. Relationships can't be forced; they need to grow and develop over time. If we relax and enjoy the process, so will our children.

Praying with Grade Schoolers

A way that will help move our children progressively toward praying on their own is ping pong prayers: we pray a prayer; our child prays a prayer, we pray a prayer, and so on. We should of course still discuss ahead of time the special things that we want to pray about or for: Our children can then cover those things in their prauers, and we can pray for other things we didn't discuss to give them examples of the kinds of things that they can pray about that are new to them. This is a great way to start introducing our children to the different things they can and should be praying about.

When our children are ready, the next step is to move them on to praying their entire prayers on their own. Depending on the child, we could alternate nights; one night ping-pong prayers and the next night saying their own prayers.

We should be careful at this point that, for the sake of a little extra time to ourselves in the evenings, we don't race off and leave our children praying on their own too soon. We need to stay with them for a while and listen to their prayers, continually encouraging them in the training process.

There are ways in which we can continue the training even after our children are praying on their own. Nights when it's late or when the kids are particularly tired, we can offer to say their prayers for them. This gives us the opportunity to lead them forward again by example. As our children get older, they'll begin to understand more and more how to talk to God about their feelings and intimate thoughts. They may feel hindered from praying this way when we're listening. We should respect their privacy and allow them to say their prayers, or part of their prayers, quietly to themselves while we sit and wait. We should also take the time to answer and/or discuss any questions that our children may have.

Praying with Kids Just Starting School

At this next stage, after deciding together what should be prayed, we can have our children repeat the prayers after us. Again remembering that each child is an individual, we may find that some of our children want to and are ready to start saying their own prayers at this point. we should also be reinforcing the basics of how God wants to teach us and care for us and give us the best possible life, pointing out that one way we receive this care is by prayer, by talking to God about our lives. As in each one of these prayer stages, we should let our children know ahead of time that in a matter of weeks or after their next birthday (or at some other milestone of our choosing), They'll be bigger and it will be time to graduate to the next prayer step; and we should explain what that next step will be.

How to pray with Toddlers

At this stage of our children's growth we should probably continue to say their prayers for them. But we need to begin to teach them that this is their prayer time, not ours. We can spend a few more minutes praying with them and help them to close their eyes, to be still, and to concentrate on god, who is listening and loves them.

If you need help motivating your children to be still, try putting a little active play in their schedule. That way you can help htme be still by letting them look forward to the play time that comes next. Or if your children get a snack or drink before bed that they look forward to, put it right after prayer in the routine; then they'll be motivated to concentrate on prayer so that they can get to their snack. Don't worry about some restlessness; praise them and reward then when they're still, and continue to encourage them by telling them how much God loves them and wants to hear from them. The concentration will come eventually. Prayer time isn't a very good time to get all bent out of shape about discipline and about having your children respond to you perfectly. If prayer time becomes a battle, it will be hard for you to help your children look forward to it and want to learn more about it.

At this stage we should pray about things that emphasize God's care and love. Probably around the time our children are four or five years old, we can begin to involve them in deciding what we're going to pray for them. This confirms to them that these are their prayers and that eventually, as they get bigger, they'll say them for themselves, the you're getting-bigger-and-growing-up motivation. We can ask them what they'd like to pray about, giving them some suggestions from things that we know are currently of interest to them, things that happened that day, special events that are coming up, or events scheduled for the next day. Once they've agreed to one or two items, we should pray simply and briefly, again using words they'd use themselves, keeping the prayer upbeat and praising them for thinking of good things to pray about.

Praying with Babies

When our children are barely old enough to understand what we're saying, we should begin to pray with them each night before putting them to sleep- briefly, and in simple, clear language. We should pray their prayers for them, not our prayers over them. We might start out with something as simple as thanking God for something special about our child's day and asking him to help the child have a good sleep.

As our children begin to talk and take an interest in different things, we should keep our prayers short and change our prayers regularly to reflect what's going on in our children's lives, the things they're interested in. When our children are old enough to begin to understand, we can tell them each night what we're doing: that we're talking to God, who made them and loves them and wants to take care of them.

How can I help my children's prayers grow with them so that they don't grow out of them?

The training process for almost everything we teach our children is progressive. We start at ground zero, progress step by step, and end up with young people who are fully prepared to tackle life on their own. The same sequence is true for prayer. We need to start talking to our children about, and walking them through, the basics of prayer when they're still very young. We can then move them progressively forward so that when they leave our care they have a strong, healthy, and growing prayer life.

We talked earlier in this blog about a basic parenting principle: when teaching your kids something, explain the process to them and help them understand it so that they can begin to take ownership of the goal and be motivated in the training process. Our children should know what their prayer life should look like when they leave home. They should also know what their intermediate goals are was we move them progressively along. One of the main reasons we lost our children in any life training process is that we take them to a certain level and then stop, expecting them to take over at that point. But they can't travel without someone's help if they don't know where they're going, why they're headed that direction, and how exactly to get there. Therefore, any training process must continue until it's complete.

As we proceed through the prayer training process, we need to remember that each one of our children is unique, and that no effective training can follow a cookie cutter pattern. The general stages and ideas outlined over the next several posts should be used as a general guide in the process, but they should be used with flexibility to allow for our children's responses and growth. We shouldn't try to force our children to fit into the exact mold of a heavily regimented training process.

On the contrary, we should reinforce and celebrate our children's uniqueness. God didn't create any of us alike, and he responds to each one of us as individuals. God created for each one of our children a special opportunity for a relationship with him that can never be duplicated. God loves our children uniquely and wants a special relationship with them that no one else can step into. Telling our children this will help them understand even more as they grow older, that prayer isn't a religious exercise that we perform. It's an individual and very real relationship with our wonderful, loving Father.

When is a good time and where is a good location for prayer

We need to reinforce with our children the fact of God's continual presence. He's always there, wherever we are, always listening, and always ready to help. We can teach our children about three ways in which they can talk with God during the day:

1. Anytime prayers are prayed whenever your children think of something they want to talk to God about or thank him for, no matter where they are or what they're doing. You should encourage your kids to use anytime prayers frequently so that their relationship with God isn't something thrown in as an afterthought before they go to sleep at night. It's a good idea to offer such prayers yourself, with your children, when you think of someone or something to pray about. Briefly let them know what you're thinking of talking to God about and then informally and naturally and briefly pray the prayer and go on with what you were doing, all without missing a beat.

2. Important moment prayers are prayed on the spot when something happens to your children or they're faced with some kind of emergency. Encourage your kids to make prayer their first response to urgent situations; if someone at their school gets hurt, or there's an altercation, or they or someone else is in some kind of trouble, for example. This is an important aspect of prayer for children, because they live in the moment. At the end of the day, before going to bed, they may find it hard to think back and remember all the things they might have wanted to talk to God about. Again, this is something you can do with your children when the occasion arises. Remember to keep prayer simple and normal, though whether you're doing the praying or your kids are. Lowering your voice a few notches, talking in solemn tones, or using words or language you don't use in everyday speech tells your children that prayer is something that isn't part of everyday life. It also sends the wrong message to them about how real God is and how he understands and relates to them.

3. Time with God prayers should be offered by our children at a regular time every day. Help your children understand that if they have friends and want to get to know them better, they can't just say hello when they pass them in the hall or talk to them in a group. If they really want to get close as friends, they need to spend time together. In the same way, our children need to set aside time daily to build this most important and most foundational relationship of all; with God.

With your younger children the best time for this prayer is before bed and after story time and Bible story time. Your older children should be able to change this time if they'd rather do someting else before going to bed. But it's important that you help your children develop a daily habit of set aside time for prayer. This should become a priority, right up there with taking a bath, dressing, and brushing teeth. Actually, it should be at the very top of the list, since prayer has by far the greatest impact on their lives. But it's good for kids to learn to look at prayer as a natural part of everyday life. They wouldn't go to school in the morning without brushing or combing their hair, and they wouldn't consider missing breakfact, lunch, or dinner. Neither should they consider missing their prayer time.

How important is it for my children to kneel and fold their hands and close their eyes?

There's no magic in the position we choose for prayer or in what we do with our hands or eyes. We find in the Bible examples of people praying in various positions and postures and in various places.

The Bible tells of people praying in a variety of different positions Daniel knelt, Elijah put his head between his knees, Solomon raised his hands, David danced, and Moses either stood or lay down flat on his face. None of these positions was required; in each case the position was chosen by the person praying and reflected his attitude or mood.

Whatever position your children prefer to pray in is appropirate, whether it be lying in bed, sitting in a comfortable chair, kneeling, or some other posture. But you can help your children understand that sometimes it's good to choose a different position for their prayers. For example, if they say their prayers lying in bed at night and keep falling asleep in the middle of prayer, perhaps a less comfortable position would help their concentration. (Remind them that God is there with them, and he really is listening. Would they consider falling asleep while talking with one of their friends?) You can also let your children know that it's perfectly fine to change position while praying depending on what they're talking to God about. For example, they may usually pray lying down, but if they have something special and serious they want to talk to God about, they might want to get on their knees beside the bed.

The same is true of what we do with our hands. If your children are fidgeting when they should be concentrating, they may find that flasping their hands helps them focus, but there's no single prescribed way for holding our hands in prayer.

Having eyes open or closed while praying is a more significant issue. Although there's no biblical mandate to close our eyes, closed eyes are for most people more conductive to prayer. It's considered polite to look at someone we're in conversation with, as an indication that we're interested and listening. That suggests open eyes, but not when the conversation is with God. When we're tlaking to God we obviously can't see him with our eyes, but we know he's present when we pray and can be seen with our hearts. You can explain to your children that in order to show God that we're interested and concentrating, we should close our eyes so that we can focus on him with our hearts, our thoughts, and our feelings. The more time we spend with God, concentrating on him and communicating with him, the more real he'll be to us, visible to our hearts.

How can I explain to my children what prayer is?

Polls conducted in North America by various groups over the last five years show that there's a surprising amount of prayer going on.

88% of us pray
78% describe prayer as an important part of daily life.
63% pray often.
25% pray occasionally.
65% believe that they've had specific answers to prayer.
79% believe that praying helps speed physical recovery.
24% believe that they've been cured through prayer.

An amazing this about prayer is how universal it is. It seems to be a natural response and activity of the human heart. No matter where you search in the world or in history, it's impossible to find a society that doesn't have some concept of prayer.

God created us as his children, and since our relationship with him was intended to be not merely a great and wonderful part of our lives but the very foundation on which we would grow, learn, and accomplish, he wired us for prayer. He not only created us with all the built-in hardware and software for communication with him, so that we could talk with him on a regular basis, but he also created all of life to work in harmony with prayer.

God created everything in harmony with the foundational idea of our communicating with him as our Father. Prayer is a natural part of who we are and how we were created, and it's part of the structure that makes our lives work.

Over the years, the whole idea of prayer and what prayer is and does has gotten comlicated and confused. As society's ideas of who God is were "fuzzified," so were our ideas about prayer. If we want to teach our children about prayer- what it is and how to go about it- we need to bring it back to its most basic and simple level: prayer is talking with God, just as conversation is communicating with other people.

Prayer isn't a goal unto itself, or a religious activity that we do to get on God's good side. Prayer is simply talking and communicating with our loving Heavenly Father, who wants to teach us, guide us, provide for us, protect us, care for us, and help us have a full life and be all that he created us to be. We must be careful that we don't teach our children about prayer as if it were some mysterious activity. It should be no more complicated for them than communicating with us as their parents.

What's the purpose of church, and how can it help my children part 2

Support by a loving comunity

The second purpose and benefit church provides is community. When we bring our children up with the support of a loving Christian community, our children are encouraged by others, inspired by their example, and held accountable by a wider group than just their own parents. In addition, we as parents are supported and helped in our task of parenting.

Jesus himself grew up in community and benefited from it just look at Luke 2:42-45

Our children need to be around other people and learn from them. They need to see people other than their parents living God's way. They need to know mentors at every stage of life who teach by living, struggling, and succeeding where our kids can see them. There should be a whole range of people of different ages painting pictures with their lives, words, and actions for our children to store in their memories and draw on in daily life.

What is the purpose of the church, and how can it help my children cont

Here are some helpful tips for.

1. On the way to church talk briefly about how you're looking forward to learning more about God during the service and sunday school and suggest how that knowledge will help you. On the way home briefly mention what you learned and get your children talking about what they did, what fun they had, what songs they sang, and what their Bible story or Bible lesson was about. This will help to reinforce what your children learned. Try not to add your own lengthy sermon to what they say the lesson was; instead, be excited about it and praise them for what they're learning.

2. Talk to your children's teachers and find out what they're teaching. Talk to your children too, and help them with their lessons, just as you'd help them with their homework and talk to them about what they're learning at school. Help them to understand and memorize their memory verses, for example, and review during the week the Bible story or Bible passage they focused on the previous Sunday at church. If they learned a specific life principle, look for opportunities to encourage them in an upbeat way to apply what they learned, emphasizing the benefits of doing so.

3. Be sure, however, to make church not merely a learning process. Make it fun as well. If your church meets in the morning, take your children out to lunch afterward or prepare their favorite foods for lunch at home. Make Sunday afternoon special, with the purpose of having your children always look forward to "church day." Try to make the process of getting ready and traveling to and from church a positive one. If you're tired or not looking forward to going yourself, try to keep your whining muffled! If after church you're struggling with something someone said or you feel that you got less than nothing out of church that day, bite your tongue. Any negative comments you make will come back to haunt you in the future, disgused as the reasons your children want to stay home. Don't misunderstand: I'm not saying that we should always paste on smiles and pretend that our church is perfect.

4. When your church schedules something fun and extra, a field trip, a party, a play, a midweek kids' club, or anything else your children would enjoy or ask to attend make it a priority to get them there. Look for any and every opportunity to make church an enjoyable experience. Help them stay excited about it.

What's the purpose of the church, and how can it help my children? Part 1

If we want our children to adopt any life habit, life skill, or principle, we should explain to them why it's important and what the benefits are. Our job isn't done until they understand why we're asking them to do what we're asking them to do. The same goes for church. If we take or drag our children to church and never help them understand why, never help them see the purpose behind it, they'll find better things to do with their Sunday mornings when they're old enough to make the choice.

Three of the benefits church provides parents and children are help in teaching process, support by a loving community, and opportunities for choosing and building good friends.

1. Help in the teaching process

Life isn't lived in isolation, so it's very difficult to teach our children how to live and why a certain lifestyle is best unless they're involved in a larger group that supports and shares in the teaching process. This is one of the primary purposes for church in our children's lives: to help us in teaching our children about God and in preparing them for life. If we're the only ones involved in our children's spiritual life, the only ones who talk to them about God's pronciples and way of life, they may well end up thinking that anything that has to do with God is just our own personal hang-up.

Some people go to the other extreme. Many parents (and our culture in general) put the promary (or even solo) responsibility for teaching children spiritual matters on the church and its leaders. But it's impossible for pastors and teachers to teach kids how to live God's way when they see them only one or two hours a week.

There isn't a single place in the Bible that puts this responsibility on the church. The primary task is ours, as parents, with the church there to assist and support us. The people who teach our children at church are delighted when we take an active role in spiritually training our children, and they will serve as active and effective advocates with us in that process.

We need to help our children understand that one of the main reasons they go to church is to learn about God and his principles for life- knowledge that will help them be all that God wants them to be and have a good, rewarding life. It's fine to talk to them about all the fun they'll have, but we need to encourage them with the benefits of learning as well. (it's not unlike school. Although kids know that school can be fun and that they can spend time with their friends there, they also understand that the primary purpose of school is for them to learn and to gain the benefits of an education).

Incidentally, this learning angle will help you when your children become bored with church and don't want to go. If the only reason for going is to have fun, and they're not having fun, you have nothing left to motivate them with. But if one of the primary reasons for church attendance is for them to learn, then you can continue to motivate them to go, even as you seek ways of making the experience more enjoyable.

Is there value in having my kids memorize verses from the Bible?

Anyone who ever attended a Bible class or Sunday School class as a child remembers memorizing Bible verses and receiving candy or some other sort of prize for doing so. Our kids are doing the same, and we as parents are proud of our children when we hear them recite their verses, and we will often help them memorize them word for word. But what's the point of memorizing Bible verses?

Here's a picture that will help our children understand why and how it's beneficial for them to memorize Scripture. Say your son gets hired by an NBA team to play basketball. After the contract is signed, the coach hands him a thick book, the strategy and play manuel, and tells him to go over it thoroughly so that he can play in next week's game.

The first thing he'll do is read it through from cover to cover to get an idea of the team's overall approach and strategy. But then he'll need to go back over certain parts and study them. He'll read and reread those parts and think about them so that he'll know and understand what to do on the court. But he'll also memorize the different plays so that he'll know exactly what to do in each situation. In brief, he'll read for general understanding, study the important parts, and memorize key plays so that he'll know what to do in specific situations.

That's how we should treat the Bible, as the strategy and play manual for our lives. We should read it for a general understanding of life, study specific parts and topics so that we know how to function in life, and memorize key portions so that when life's circumstances put us on the spot we'll know what to do.

Receiving candy and prizes for memorizing Bible verses can be moticating, but if those rewards are the only reason for learning verses, we might as well have our kids memorize Shakespeare. Psalm 119:11 says that the Bible is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. The instructions in the Bible give us direction and help us make decisions. We should help our children memorize key verses, and make sure that they understand them, so that when particular situations arise they'll know how to respond.

There's no brownie point system in heaven that rewards our children for the number of Bible verses they can recite perfectly. It's far more important that our children memorize the meaning, intent, and purpose of a Bible verse than it is for them to memorize its exact wording.

The best verses to memorize with your children are the ones that you looked up together when you were trying to learn and understand one of life's principles. If you children are learning memory verses somewhere else and bringing them home, spend a little time with them to make sure that they understand what each verse means and how they can apply it. You'll find that their ability to memorize the actual words will increase drastically with practice. If you want to find key verses for your children to memorize, use one of the Bible reference tools found in the back of most Bibles, such as a topical study guide or a concordance.

Be an Example of Change

Making changes in family life is often a group project. Children may be more motivated to change when they see others trying to change as well—especially when those other people are their parents. Your transparency about your own weakness can be an encouragement to your kids.

Many parents have their anger meters set too tight. They react with intensity for even the smallest infraction of the rules. James 1:19-20 is helpful for us all to memorize: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for a man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” Character qualities like patience, persistence, and self-control help both children and parents to increase the tolerance level on their anger meter.

One single dad told us, “One morning, I got up, looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize the person I had become. I realized that I needed to make some changes in myself. Anger and bitterness were making me a hurtful person. As I began working on my own thoughts, feelings, and reactions, I was able to respond differently to life’s struggles. I was then surprised to see my kids change in response to what they saw in me. Things started moving in a positive direction for my family.”

Set the example for change in family life. Talk openly with your kids about the changes you’d like to see and the changes you’re working on in your own life. You may be surprised to find them following along behind you.

The Gratefulness Principle

Gratitude increases closeness. Look for opportunities to take advantage of gratefulness as you work to draw closer to your kids. Give your children small gifts of love day after day. Be careful, though, that you don’t confuse the gratefulness principle with the overindulgence trap.

Some parents, wanting their children to like them, recognize giving gifts opens the heart, so they overdo it by giving them too many things. Giving to your kids must be tied into relationship, or the gifts feed selfishness instead of gratefulness.

Overindulgence is giving your children more than their character can handle. When children lack gratitude, the more you give them, the less they appreciate. Parents must restrain themselves or they’ll exceed their child’s ability to manage the blessings. Overindulged children rarely become grateful when you give them more things. They grow to be more spoiled, demanding, and selfish. Parents then feel unappreciated and become resentful. The hearts of both parents and children harden toward each other, and closeness becomes a thing of the past.

When your children become overindulged rather than grateful, pull back on the area where you’re giving too much and look for ways to increase the areas where you’re lacking. Teaching the heart gratefulness can be a challenge. Having a child say thank you is just behavior. Gratefulness comes from the heart. Monitor your child’s response to gifts of love to determine if you’re growing gratitude or overindulgence.

As gratefulness increases, you can slowly give blessings in a way that will produce more gratefulness. You’ll know if you’re moving too quickly by your child’s response.

Overcomingt Selfishness with Honor

Overcoming Selfishness With Honor

Some parents are frustrated because their children are so self-focused that they can't seem to grasp the concept of honoring others. How can you help children think about other people instead of always thinking about themselves?

One helpful way is to teach kids to recognize emotions in others and then know how to respond accordingly. One dad wanted to work on honor with his seven-year-old daughter, Diane, who was self-centered, always talking and thinking about herself. He used a journal and, in the evening, asked Diane to identify examples of a friend or family member who was sad, mad, or glad that day. Then he asked the question, "How might you respond to that person in a helpful way?"

They continued this exercise every evening for two weeks. After awhile it helped Diane get outside of herself, look at the needs and feelings of others, and then talk about ways to respond with honor. When her brother is mad, it might be best to leave him alone or to just ask a helpful question. With her friend who is sad, she could offer to help and then listen empathetically. When Mom is glad, Diane could enter into that gladness by listening to the story and enjoying the situation too.

The Bible says in Philippians 2:3, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourselves." That's good advice for all of us. Seeing and responding to emotions in others is a great way to start.

Roasting Marshmallows

When it comes to roasting marshmallows there is no “right” way. Some prefer the slow roasting method, taking great care and patience to hold the mallow far enough away that the flame licks at the soft sweet outer shell ever so slightly, changing its color from snow white to a lovely light chocolate shade, then turning the air-filled sugar cube at the slightest noticeable change of color as to evenly roast the scrumptious morsel to perfection. While others prefer the fiery furnace of King Nebuchadnezzar approach thrusting the poor defenseless mallow between two logs making any possible escape from the inferno unfeasible. No turning is required with this method the color you are shooting for is a pleasant shade of pitch. Regardless of your particular approach to attaining mallow perfection, there are three main ingredients you will need to achieve roast completion; The Mallow, The Fire, and you. If you remove one of these items the process falls apart.

The mallow and the fire, without you, sit and stare want only at each other knowing that their future together rests in your hands. You and the Fire, while a cozy couple, will never attain smooth sugary bliss. The Mallow and you may enjoy quaint pleasantries but the relationship will die there because you can’t get past the chalky outer coating that stops you from bringing it to the next level. At this point you’re thinking, “What are you trying to say.” It’s really quite clear.In the Gospels, we are given an account of a time when parents where bringing their children to Jesus so he could touch them as recorded in Mark 10:13 and Luke 18:15. In Matthew 19:13, the phrase “to lay hands on them” is used. The word “touched” in Mark and Luke carries with it the idea of fastening fire to a thing or to kindle. The phrase “to lay hands on them” in the book of Matthew was used when determining and controlling the destinies of man.

Let me see if I can clear all this up. Your child is the mallow, Jesus is the fire, and you… are you. In the fire the mallow finds completion of calling and so your child finds completion of destiny in Jesus. It is not up to you to produce the fire that brings the mallow to its glory but your role is only to introduce the mallow to the flame and let the flame do what it does.When was the last time you introduced your child to Jesus the one who determines and controls the destinies of man and asked Him to speak that destiny over your child and ignite it with fire to bring it to its completion. Don’t wait until the next church service or summer camp or kids conference. The fire is available in your house, at the dinner table, in the living room, in the backyard on the swing set, in the bedroom right before bed time.Introduce your child to the presence of an almighty God and Let Him set your child on fire with the call and destiny he has chosen for them.

Some Simple Suggestions

Encourage your children to pray an informal prayer before they start reading the Bible, asking God to teach them and help them understand and apply what they read. Also, and this goes against everything in our high speed culture, encourage them to slow down and think about what they're reading, and even to talk with God about things that strike them or that they don't understand.

Teach them that reading our Bibles should be like a treasure hunt. We're looking for the golden nuggets of truth that are the keys to making our lives all that our loving Father created them to be. Racing through the Bible is merely reading a great book; learning from it and from God takes a little time and concentration.

You can help your children learn the skill of slowing down and reflecting on what the stories mean while they're young, when you're reading to them from a Bible storybook. Allow your young children to interrupt with questions, and take the time to answer them. When you see an important application in the story, briefly mention it before going on. In addition, discuss the story when you're finished; don't just close the book and rush on to something else. This will ehlp your children focus on the purpose of the activity, which is to allow our Father in heaven to teach us his principles for life and help us to be all that we can be. (Remember not to force a lesson. Sometimes talking about what you've read means just talking about the story.)

Habits aren't only for Nuns

It's important that we not only teach our children from the Bible but also help them establist a regular habit of Bible reading. Let your children know that Bible reading is something all of us should do most every day of our lives. It's not just entertainment; it's one of the foundations for a successful life. Help your children of all ages develop and continue in this daily habit. Let your older children choose when they'd like to read their Bibles during they day, and then encourage them to stick with that schedule. And help your children dedicate a little more time to their Bible reading as they grow older.

One of the best ways to reinforce the value and importance of regularity in Bible reading and study is to demonstrate this daily habit yourself. Purposely choose a time for your own Bible reading and study when your children will know where you are and what you're doing. A great way to encourage your older children in their Bible exploration is to talk to them occasionally about what you're reading and learning and how what you're learning is affecting your life.

Parenting Tip

Teach Children What to Do Next Time

Don't you feel like some days you have to discipline kids for the same things over and over again? The child who has a problem hitting, interrupting, or just being annoying to others may need a lot of correction.It's these problems that are great candidates for a Positive Conclusion. Each time the negative behavior takes place, have the child take a short break and then come back to you for a debriefing. During that conversation, one of the questions should be, "What are you going to do differently next time?" When you ask this question your child has to state the right response back to you. If Bill is frustrated with his brother Jack and responds by arguing or saying unkind things or grabbing, the right response is to talk about the problem. If you continue to discipline Bill for these wrong responses and he continues to verbalize that the right response is to talk about it, eventually he is able to catch himself sooner and talk to Jack about the problem without using the negative behaviors. This takes time and repeated discipline sessions, but children learn by repetition and frequent, gently reminders.Sometimes children don't know what they should have done differently. In fact, some parents are so used to telling their children what not to do, they, themselves, don't even know what the right response should be. Sometimes the solutions are not easy. That's all the more reason to use this question with children. Both parent and child can brainstorm about alternatives to unwanted behavior. By communicating the right response to you verbally, your child will begin to see the difference and learn to change.

When you don't feel like the energizer bunny...

Variety can be the spice of Bible learning for kids, but a parent with a little energy and excitement can also go a long way. If Bible time with our kids is scheduled at the end of the day and we're tired, it's easy to rush through or even skip it- or worse yet, get cranky about it or bored with it ourselves. Before going to read with your children, remember how important this activity is and try your best to gather up enough energy to make it a memorable experience. If you're just too exhausted, some creativity and/or variety will help. Bring out the animated Bible video or suggest that an older brother or sister read with the younger ones. Alternatively, if your spouse is involved in the teaching process, ask him or her to take over for the evening. The best way to help your children in the process is to be upbeat and spontaneous. Don't rush; stop frequently for questions; hide the book periodically and ask your kids simple trivia questions about what you just read; praise them for their correct answers; and make the occasion special by spending a little extra time with them once the nightly prayer and Bible time is finished.

The Boredom Bugaboo

Kids love adventure and variety. Be careful not to fall into a rut, following the same pattern over and over again in your Bible time. With young kids, consider buying or renting some animated Bible story videos and using them as a special once a week replacement for the regular Bible story or reading. Use a Bible storybook on CD-ROM for a few nights or consider using a different Bible storybook or Bible. Or sit in a different spot- in the kitchen, for example, having some milk and cookies- while you're reading the story.

With older children who are reading on their own, variety may be even more important. Offer to read to them every once in a while. Rent a movie such as The Ten Commandments or suggest alternative Christian literature for a change. Try calling the whole family together to read a Bible story or portion of the Bible. If at any time your children start to get bored or begin to lose interest in the process, examine your presentation and change what you're doing or mix in some variety to bring the excitement level up again.

A bill of Rights (and Wrongs)

We should make a point of teaching our kids that the Bible contains the truth about how life works. One of the greatest parenting benefits the Bible provides is a solid foundation for teaching children what's right. When we teach our children that there's a right and a wrong way of doing things, we imply that there are unchanging principles and absolute truths that govern life. If, on the other hand, we teach them without substantiating our claim that what we're teaching is truth, that it comes from God, we set the stage for someone else to come along and convince them of the opposite. If God didn't create things to function in a certain way, then everything is random and a matter of opinion, and telling our children that they have to be honest becomes merely our opinion of what they should do.

If there's no absolute right or wrong, then our children could decide that lying consistently makes more sense to them than truth telling and is the way that they want to live their lives. If truth is subjective and random, who are we to tell our children how they should behave? It's our opinion against theirs. We may tell htem, "This is how it's going to be as ong as you're under my roof," but that doesn't prepare them for life; it just prolongs the inevitable.

Fish that eat people and Donkeys that talk

God gave us a book full of marvelous stories about kings and peasants, battles and miracles, fish that swallow people, donkeys that talk, and so on. He didn't give us a dry as dust book of rules and guidelines. In the Bible, God gave us a wonderful variety of literary forms, including poetry, visions, and proverbs, but especialy stories that bring life's guidebook to life and make it more interesting and effective.

Kids will forget some of our applications and lessons, no matter how sincere our efforts and their intentions, long before they forget the stories. These stories are meant to teach us and our children, but if we're continually light on the story and heavy on the lesson, we'll end up light on the effect. Be content to simply read the stories to your younger children, letting the lessons come in response to questions and to situations that give you an appropriate parallel.

It's important to involve both sides of the brain int he biblical process, the left brain for explanations, the right brain for images and stories. Especially for some kids, stories are the best teaching tool by far. If we as parents learn to enjoy the stories of the Bible as stories before we draw all kinds of applications, we'll help our kids build a reservoir on which they can draw in daily life, and on which we can draw when we talk with them about God's instruction manual.

Parenting Tip #2 Perseverance

Perseverance

Although parents need to be careful not to focus on behavior alone, it’s important to realize that sometimes behavior can change the heart. Ideally, we change from the inside out, adjusting the heart and giving God greater control, resulting in outward change. But that isn’t how it always works, with children or adults. In the Bible we read God’s commands for behavior—and his expectation of obedience. These commands are important not just for their external value, but because obeying brings inner change as well.

Sometimes people just don’t feel like doing what’s right. Does that excuse their behavior? After all, they don’t want to be hypocrites, and since they don’t feel like doing what’s right, maybe they should continue to do the wrong thing until their hearts change. Of course the faulty reasoning here is obvious. Even if you don’t feel like it, you need to do the right thing.
Many of the chores children do are a struggle for them. Unless your kids are exceptional, they get frustrated with work and view cleaning their rooms, washing the dishes, or raking leaves as an intrusion into their lives. In those moments, pray for heart change, talk about deeper issues, but continue to hold the line.

Children who learn to work hard are eventually surprised by the amount of work they can do, but it takes time. By teaching children how to fulfill their responsibilities, even when they don’t feel like it, develops the character quality of perseverance in their hearts.

Practical tips on how to read the Bible with your children part 1

Read with an attitude: Your own attitude toward the Bible is contagious; it will likely become your children's attitude. Respect God's Word as a practical guide to life rather than treating it as an obscure religious handbook that sits quietly on a shelf gathering dust. When you're making decisions as a family, helping your children make their own decisions, or feeling curious about how something in life works-saving money, for example- look up what the Bible says. When you're teaching your children life principles such as honesty and kindness, anchor what you're teaching with actual verses from the Bible.

But be careful not to refer to the BIble only when things are serious. Allow it to become a normal and everyday part of your life- a constant, practical, helpful reference that's used daily. The Bible should be as natural a guide for life as TV Guide is for television. If you're just beginning this process, start slowly and build. You'll have your whole family running for cover if you go from little or no Bible study straight to biblical blitz with both barrels blazing. The best first step is to sit down and talk to your children about what the Bible is, what it teaches, and what role it should play in people's lives. Talk to them about beginning to use it as the instruction manual for life in your family, and move forward with everyone working together. It's this daily access that keeps God's wisdom working in our children's hearts and minds.

What can I do to help my kids get a handle on how all the pieces of the Bible fit together?

When your children want to move from their Bible storybook to a regular Bible, it's time to begin talking to them about how the Bible was put together. At first glance the structure looks confusing, but there's a definite, easy-to-grasp plan and order in the arrangement of the books of the Bible.

The Bible isn't just one big book; it's a library of sixty-six books. And like a library, it's organized in sections, each section with it's own kind of books.

The Bible's library is broken down into two main sections, the Old Testament and the New Testament, each with its own subsections.

The Old Testament contains the books that tell the story of creation and give the history of God's chosen people, the Israelites. It also contains nonhistory books, such as poetic books and books by prophets, that were written during this same time period.

The New Testament contains the books that tell the story of Jesus, his birth, life, death, resurrection, and return to heaven; as well as the story of what the disciples did afterward and the beginnings of the church. The New Testament also contains books that were written by the apostles and other early church leaders; these books teach us what it means to be, and how to live as, Christians.

How can I tell my kids in a simple way what the Bible is all about?

It's relatively easy to use a Bible storybook. Stories have been selected for us from the Bible, and we can simply read these stories to or with our kids. (Even if you're using a Bible storybook with your kids, the rest of this chapter can still be very helpful.) But when our kids are old enough to get a "regular" Bible (a bible that has the whole text in it, from Genesis through Revelation) what are they supposed to do with it?

It would seem logical to simply start reading the Bible at the beginning and keep on reading until the end. But if you've ever tried to do that, you know what happens. The first book, Genesis, is incredibly engaging and full of wonderful stories about creation, Noah's ark, Abraham, and so on. The next book, Exodus, beginswith the great story of Moses and the pharoah, but then come sections where we get bogged down in laws and detailed descriptions of the tabernacle. And when we discover that Leviticus is all laws, we quit and go back to reading just bits and pieces in the Bible, the stories we understand and are familiar with.

The problem is not that the stuff we get bogged down in doesn't make sense; rather; it's that without a larger context we don't know how to read it or what to do with it. It's like planning a trip by car from Panama City to San Diego with only a stack of city maps. You don't have a clue which towns you'll be traveling through until you look at a map of North America as a whole to give you the big picture. THen the maps of smaller areas start to make sense, because you understand them in a larger context.

In teaching any subject, it usually works best to start with an overview and gradually work our way down to the details. Then the details can be understood in terms of their wider context. Exactly the same thing is true of the Bible. The various stories of the Bible, as well as all the other pieces, such as laws and psalms, all fit into a Big Story, a single, coherent, wide-angle picture that serves as our roadmap through the Bible.

Most kids have heard Bible stories, but without the Big picture, the Bible Story of the Bible, they don't have a clue how the various stories are related to each other or in what order they did happen. Did Abraham come before or after Noah? Who came first, King David or Sampson?

Knowing the stories is better than not knowing them, of course, even if the kids don't know how they fit together. But if we really want our kids to understand the BIble, we must help tem understand these two relatively simple things

1. The Big Story (Or main storyline). Once children grasp the outline of the Bible, the Big Story that weaves itself through both the Old and New Testaments, telling of God's plan for humanity and of how God has been working out that plan, they can fit the pieces into a larger context.

2. The structure of the Bible: Children need to learn how the various books of the Bible fit into the Big Story so that they can find their way around the Bible.

We'll discuss more in later blogs.

Choosing the right Bible

Here are a few hints for choosing a Bible storybook or a Bible by age group.

1. Preschoolers. For this age group, a simply illustrated Bible storybook that covers the key Bible stories and has a smal number of simple words per picture is appropriate.

2. Beginning Readers. Several Bible storybooks have been created with simplified vocabularies at a reading level for the beginning reader. Your choice should be simply illustrated and contain more stories than a storybook for preschoolers. If you can find one that takes more than two pages to tell a story, your children will enjoy the stories more.

3. Grade schoolers. Look for a Bible that contains more words and therefore more of the details of each story. Don't choose one, however that has so many words and so few pictures that your child will give up. (The best balance of text and pictures will vary with the individual child, of course.) The illustrations for this level should be more detailed and interesting, but be careful to choose a book that has artwork that will appeal to your child. (Some children's Bible storybooks have been on the market so long that the artwork is no longer current and exciting for today's kids.) Some Bible storybooks for this age group have a very simple Bible reference tool or index in the back, which is a plus.

In the last few years, technology has created a whole range of new tools. Bibles and Bible storybooks are now available on CD, many with a variety of multimedia elements. Although these tools can be wonderful assistants in teaching our children the Bible, we should still have a hard copy available for them to read and carry, reinforcing its personal importance.

Another great tool, especially for younger kids, is video material that features animated Bible stories. Video Bible time shouldn't replace regular Bible study with our children, since part of what we're doing with our kids is helping them develop a lifelong habit of Bible reading. But videos can augment our teaching.

What kind of Bible should I use with my children?

Choosing a Bible or Bible storybook for our kids used to be a simple thing since choice was limited. Today it's a different story. We can choose from a wide variety of Bible storyboks for younger kids, most of them with colorful illustrations, as well as for many regular Bibles that contain the whole Bible text in language targeted at older children. It's well worth the time to investigate what's available, since not all Bible storybooks and regular Bibles for kids are of the same quality, and some may be better suited to some kids than to others. Here are some general tips:

1. From the time children are old enough to be read to until the time they leave home, they'll probably go through four to six different Bibles. This is in part a practical necessity, since their reading skills, comprehension levels, and interests change, but it also helps kids see that learning about God is progressive (and that they are progressing). Graduating from one Bible to the next can be a real encouragement for our children, propelling them forward with newfound motivation.

2. It's important that each of our children has his or her own Bible. That helps to show our kids how important the Bible is and emphasizes that the Bible always needs to be available as a book for learning and a practical guidebook for life. Of course, Bibles can be passed down to younger brothers and sisters as the older children grow out of them.

3. When it's time to buy a new Bible, try to let your children choose their own. You can point out which Bibles or Bible storybooks are labeled for thier age group, and they can make the final selection. This helps strengthen the ownership factor and increase the interest level.

4. When your children are old enough to want a whole text Bible, be sure to choose a translation that uses modern day language so that your children will be able to understand what they're reading. You'll find the different Bibles labeled clearly as to which translation is used. Some translations are deliberately aimed at a lower reading level for kids. For example, the New International readers version (NIRV) and the International Children's version are both at a third grade reading level, the (NLT) is at a slightly higher level. If you're not familiar with the various modern translations, pick a few verses in different parts of the Bible and look them up in the various translations for comparison.

5. Finally, look for whole text children's and teen Bibles that contain additional materials that will help your children understand and apply what they read. Many Bibles for children and teens contain some or all of the following: a simple concordance, explanation notes in the text, an introduction to each book of the Bible, maps of Bible lands, and cross references to other places in the Bible that talk about the same topic.

Next time I will give hints to choosing the Bible by age group.

How can I help my child have a strong faith in God part 3

Part 3: Seeing God through what He has created.

"Ever since the wolrd was created it has been possible to see the qualities of God that are not seen. I'm talking about his eternal power and about the fact that he is God. Those things can be seen in what he has made" Romans 1:20

The awesomeness of human beings is an incredible testimony to God's power and love. Whenever you see a news article or television show about medical discoveries and the awesome inner workings of the human body, or when your children learn about such things at school, take the opportunity to point out God's incredible design and the love he demonstrated in making us so wonderful and so complete.

Next time you're looking out at the stars, or your children are learning about the incredible vastness of the universe, take the opportunity to help your children see how unlimited and powerful God is.

Point out to your children how everything in creation works in perfect harmony and balance: the way the food chain works; how our atmosphere is perfect for sustaining life; how the atmosphere is maintained by the amazing cooperation of different systems that we take for granted; how each creature that God has made, from bacteria to whales, has a special role in maintaining the balance of life on earth. All of this demonstrates God's loving character through his care for us and for all of creation.

And when your kids watch a butterfly just because it's beautiful, or spend time with a playing cat just because it's funny, or sit by the gutter in the rain just because they're intrigued by the ever changing patterns in the water, we can help them see God in the beauty of everyday life.

We're surrounded by the best tools available to help strengthen our children's faith in God. When we show our kids that what they believe is reasonable, their faith is anchored; when we help them experience God's love, their faith is made real and practical; and when we help them see God's power and character in his creation, their faith is inspired.

How can I help my children have a strong faith in God Part 2

Part 2: Seeing God working in their lives.

The second way in which we can strengthen our children's faith in God is to help them experience God, or see him at work in their lives. A survey of youth found that 95 percent of teens said that they believe in God or a universal spirit, 93 percent said that they believe that God loves them, but only 29 percent said that they've personally experienced the presence of God.

It's great that our kids believe in God and that they believe he loves them, but God wants to demonstrate that love in their lives. Our children should be able to see the results and the effects of God's love and his Fathering. We would think it unreasonable if someone continually told us that he or she loved us but never did anything about it. Contrary to the popular saying, it's not the thought that counts. Without corresponding action, there's no way to demonstrate the existence of the thought. The Bible teaches us that we must demonstrate our faith by showing our love for our fellow humans. God wants to do the same thing for us.

Often we distance ourselves from God, his active participation in our lives, and his very real answers to prayer by thinking either that our concerns are too small to bother him with or that we can handle things ourselves. But God wants to demonstrate his love in very real and wonderful ways. Nothing is too small or unimportant to bring to his attention. He wants us to talk with him and trust him about everything, big and small:

"Don't worry about anything. Instead, tell God about everything. Ask and pray. Give thanks to him. Then God's peace will watch over your hearts and your minds because you belong to Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7

"My God will meet all your needs. He will meet them in keeping with his wonderful riches that come to you because you belong to Chrsit Jesus" Phil 4:19

"God did not spare his own Son. He gave him up for us all. Then won't he also freely give us everything else?" (Rom 8:32)

It's important to believe that God exists, but God wants us to move on from there and believe that he rewards us as we look to him as our Father. God insists that we can trust him and should believe that he'll be incredibly good to us. We need to help our children understand who God is and make sure that they're confident that he'll express his love and care not just in theory but in reality, in the mundane details of their loves. God is not an absentee Father.

Talking to our children about all of the things that God has said he is willing to do in their lives, ans their Father, is a necessary foundation. Then, as life's stage provides the opportunities, we should gently remind them and guide them with all their needs, questions, and desires, toward God and his love. As God responds to their simple faith, sometimes boldly, sometimes subtly, we can help them see God in his answers.

At the heart of our children's simple faith is prayer, the essence of their relationship with God. Prayer isn't a science, it doesn't work like the shopping channel. Certainly the things they pray for and about shouldn't read like a list for Santa Claus. Their prayers should include petitions for others, for wisdom, and for growth. We need to teach our children to trust that God will always hear them and do what's best for them with regard to the things they talk with him about in prayer.

When we encourage our children to trust God and talk with him about anything and everything, his answers and the demonstration of his love will begin to show up in many different forms, in direct, obvious answers to prayer, in situations that work out better than we could have expected them to, and in many other ways that our children would miss if we weren't there pointing to God's love at work in their lives. Talk to your children about the times that you've seen God answer your prayers. These stories will be a great inspiration to your children and will motivate them to want to make a collection of similar stories in their own loves. (We'll talk about teaching our children how to pray later on) Being a Christian doesn't mean simply that we believe in God; it also means that we experience God and his love.

Another way in which we can help our children experience God is to assist them to see the results of doing things God's way and following his principles. When your children choose right over wrong, take the time to not only praise them for their wisdom but also point out the immediate and long-term benefits of their actions. The more evidence they see that doing things God's way works, the stronger their faith and their resolve to follow God will become.

How Can I help my children have a strong faith in God

Part 1: Seeking that their faith is reasonable.



We should never tell our children that having faith and believing in God is something that doesn't make sense, that flies in the face of reason. God created our intellect and our ability to reason, and he doesn't require us to check them at the door of faith.



Jesus appealed to people's intellect and reaosn repeatedly, even when it came to believing:



"Do not believe me unless I do what my Father does. But if I do it, even though you do not believe me, believe the miracles, that you may know and understand that the Father is in me, and I in the Father" John 10:37-38



Peter and Paul used arguments of reason when trying to convince others to believe, including reminding them of JEsus miracles, which many in the community either had seen or knew of, and using the testimony of the more than five hundred people who had seen Jesus after he rose from the dead.



Showing our children that their faith is reasonable also prepares them for the inevitable onslaught of conflicting information they'll receive from others. There are many good resources available that can assist you in this task, but I offer her a few simple facts that you can use in discussions with your children. Just knowing some of these basics will help your kids see that their faith is indeed reasonable.



Have your children imagine that your family is walking through the forest. There, beside the path, you see a beautiful gold watch. You pick it up and say, "Wow! This is truly remarkable; this watch just came together all by itself over thousands of years through a remarkable string of chance happenings." As you try to convince your children of your conclusion, they'll try to convince you of how ridiculous you're being. Now help them see that they automatically assumed that the intricate design of the watch was a sure sign that it had been designed and put together by someone.



The odds of everything in creation coming together through a remarkable string of chance happenings are so astronomical that there are no computers big enough on this planet to calculate them. One thing is for sure: it's many, many times more likely that the watch came together by itself. Saying that the earth aand all of creation came into existence without a creator is like saying that the Mona Lisa is the result of a paint spill of that the dictionary is the result of an explosion in a print shop.



The odds of all the components that make up a singe-cell creatue coming together by themselves in just the right way to form life have been calculated to range from 1 with 40,000 zeroes after it! And those are the odds from a single cell life form! Not only is a human being made of millions of cells which compounds the odds astronomically, but each cell in our bodies must work in absolute harmony with every other cell.



The picture of the origin of humanity that's usually presented in popular books about evolution involves a series of life forms from beginning with a single cell in the ocean. That single cell creature evolves, via fish that crawl up on shore, to apes and then to humans in a nice, continuous parade. But there are two things missing in this picture: time and transitions.

The earth, according to evolutionists, is four billion years old. That's a long time by our standards, but as a time frame for evolution from inert matter to human beings, it's inadequate. Some scientists realize this. One solution, proposed by respected scientists, involves the assumption that life forms evolved on another planet where there was enough time, and that their seeds were transported to earth on meteorites and comets (I'm not making this up!). But this doesn't solve the problem; it simply extends the boundaries and finds more time elsewhere, with no additional proof.

The second thing that's mission is transitions: the socalled missing links. If al life evolved from simple molecules to human beings, one would expect to find transitions between, say, reptiles and birds and between apes and humans. These transitional forms haven't been found. One solution, again proposed by respected scientists, is a theory that argues that species existed for hundreds of millions of years without any significant change and then a bunch of change happened in only a few million years. The result, they claim, is an abundance of fossils from long periods and very few from short periods of time. It's a litte neat solution, but it begs the question. It assumes that the fossil record of change is there, evey though we haven't found it yet.

So what do we mean by a "reasonable faith"? Having such a faith doesn't mean that we can or have to prove to everybody's satisfaction that God exists or that everything we believe about God is true. Rather, a reasonable faith is simply a faith that doesn't go against reason. Here's one way you can illustrate this point to your kids.

There are extremely smal, short lived, subatomic particles that no one has ever seen. They were believed to exist before anyone had ever observed evidence of them, because everything else known about particles indicated that they should be there. Later they were shown to exist by trails they left behind in highly sensitive equipment. Was it reasonable to believe, before they had been proven to exist, that these particles were there and could be found? Of course. Is it reasonable to believe that these particles really exist evey though no one has ever seen one? Of course. The effect they have on their surroundings, which can be observed, is enough to make scientists accept that they exist.

The odd thing is that the same logic isn't applied when we talk about the origin of the universe and of life. No one can go back and prove what happened at the beginning of time, neither the people who believe that either there is no God or that God had nothing to do with whatever happened to bring about time, space, matter, and life.

Yet either God stands at the beginning of time or he doesn't. The choice, either way, is a matter of faith. And if, by faith, you accept that God wasn't there, then you have to work hard to find alternative explanations that make sense.

It's important to help our kids understand that we all believe things we can't prove, though some are more reasonable than others. But we don't have to be put on the defensive because we have faith in God. Based on the available evidence and the effects we can see, faith in God seems a whole lot more reasonable than any of the alternatives.

There is only one God, but He exists in three persons (The trinity)

The New Testament clearly describes the Father as God, Jesus as God, and the Holy Spirit as God. But the Bible also says that there's only one God. This means that these three distinct persons are at the same time one.

For some children, this apparent contradiction isn't a problem at all. They simply accept that that's the way God is, and that's wonderful. But other kids try to understand it rationally. In talking with that second group, we have a choice: (1) we can try to explain the Trinity in accurate theological terms (assuming we can do that!), (2) we can try to avoid an explanation by telling them that "that's just the way God is" (which goes counter to everything else we're trying to do in helping our kids relate to God!) or (3) we can try to explain the Trinity in the simplest possible terms and help our children understand what that concept means in their lives.

Perhaps the easiest way to explain "one God, three persons" is this. We as human beings understand complete separation: each one of us can be in only one spot at one time, we know only what we've learned (and not what somebody else has learned), we can think only our thoughts (and not somebody else's), and we all have different abilities. But what if our limitations suddenly disappeared? What if all of us could be everywhere at the same time instead of in only one spot? Then all of us would be everywhere! What if all of us suddenly knew everything? Then all of us would know everything and thus have exactly the same knowledge. And so on.

We can only imagine what it would be like, but in the case of God it is true. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit all can do anything, all know everything, and all are absolutely everywhere at the same time; so they're one in thought, knowledge, presence, power, and ability. Yet they're different. What is it that separates them? It's their unique persons, each with a separate task.

When Jesus was on earth he was baptized in water by John the Baptist. The gospels tell us that when he came out of the water, the Holy Spirit came down on him like a dove, and God spoke from heaven (luke 3:21-22). In this picture we see the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit all presented together, all working together, and yet each one completing a separate task.

Here's a simple way to explain the separate roles that God the Father; God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit have in our kids' lives.

1. God is the Father; he's the one they're to pray to, trust, and develop a relationship with.
2. Jesus is God's Son, and he died for us so that we could join God's family; he's our Savior and role model.
3. The Holy Spirit helps us get to know God, learn from him, and grow as his children, and he directs and guides us into the life that God has designed for us.

God is greater than we can comprehend. But he's described himself thoroughly so that we can better relate to him and can understand that he's more than able to love us and take care of us individually and completely, as our Heavenly Father.

God knows everything (He is Omniscient)

God knows everything there is to know. This includes all information that exists anywhere, as well as the knowledge of everything that's ever happened anywhere, is currently happening, and will happen in the future. It can be tempting at times to use this information as a threatening reminder that our children should behave themselves. We need to resist that temptation, however. Instead, we should present God's omniscience to our children as an incredibly awesome benefit to life. If our kids are in need of understanding or knowledge about absolutely anything, they can go to God and ask for his wisdom and his guidance and his direction.

"If any of you need wisdom, ask God for it. He will give it to you. God gives freely to everyone. He doesn't find fault." (James 1:5)

Solomon, a great king mentioned in the Bible, sincerely and wholeheartedly asked God for wisdom. God didn't just say abracadabra and all of a sudden Solomon's brain was crammed with all manner of wisdom and knowledge. On the contrary, Solomon started on a journey when he bagan trusting God to teach him. He learned to pursue wisdom and knowledge with all his heart while being tuned in to the One who knows everything.

Sometimes we think that Solomon's wisdom was limited to knowing how to handle people and life situations properly. But the Bible and history record that Solomon, besides being a great king, was also a master builder; an expert in botany and zoology, and a master of finance, commerce, and international trade. He made his country and his people so wealthy that silver became worthless and was piled up in the streets.

We should also make clear to our kids that there's a big difference between information and wisdom. We can get information from books and the internet, but wisdom comes from God. Information is stuff that can be stored on CD's and jump drives. But all the information in the world can't help us live life the way God intended it. Wisdom, on the other hand, is knowing and being able to apply the principles that God gave us to function in harmony with the way he created life to work. Solomon himself tells us over and over in the Old Testament book of Proverbs that the key to life is wisdom and the key to wisdom is trusting the One who created and knows everything.

A great way to help our children understand the benefit of their Heavenly Father knowing everything is to tell them that they have, with them and on their side, the greatest teacher, coach, trainer, financial adviser, career counselor, family counselor, and overall life-planning expert possible.

God can do anything (He is Omnipotent)

With all the big screen superheroes in our culture today, the concept of omnipotence isn't hard for children to grasp. However, we need to help them know that in God's case the power is absolutely true and real. We also need to help them understand the difference between God and the superheroes: God's power isn't the power of fists and guns; it's the power of love, compassion, and forgiveness.

Simply put, nothing is impossible for God. He can do anything and everything, and he's more than willing to use his ability to help, because he's love. The Bible says that nothing is impossible to the person who believes and trusts God. We should teach our children that no matter what happens in life or what they come up against, they can rely on the One who can do anything to help them overcome, solve, or get through the problem.

God is everywhere (He's omnipresent)

God doesn't have a physical, in-one-place-ony body. He's spirit, and he's present everywhere all the time. But if you leave your children with only that description, they'll start thinking of God as air or as a formless ghost. It can be very hard for children to relate to a Heavenly Father who has no substance and is in no particular place.

So how can we help them understand? First of all, just because God is spirit doesn't mean that he can't be ina specific place at a particular time or that he has no substance. Angels are spirit too, but the Bible describes them as having form and substance. But while angels can be in only one place at a time, God is described in the Bible as being able to simultaneously be in one spot and be everywhere. Yet he's not depicted like air and without substance: The Bible talks many times about God's throne and throne room, allowing us to picture him with substance and in one spot. God represented himself visibly to the Israelites in a cloud on many different occasions, again demonstrating his willingness to be understood in a more concrete manner. And in Genesis the Bible talks about God walking in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve.

One way to help your children understand this concept is to use the analogy of an aquarium. Though very limited, the analogy is effective for this purpose. The fish see the aquarium as a big place, as their entire world. It's impossible for them to see more than one small part of it at a time. However your children can look at the aquarium and see all the fish and their entire world all at once. Your children still have substance; it's just that both their field of vision and their ability to gather information are far greater than those of the fish.

While explaining this to our children, we can use the opportunity to reinforce the benefits of putting our lives in God's hands. The fact that God can be everywhere at the same time means that he can give each one of us his personal love and attention and be with us always. It's like having a personal teacher or coach as opposed to sharing one teacher or coach with thirty other kids. It means that when you talk to God, you never get a busy signal.

How can I answer my children's questions about God's omnipotence and the trinity?

When talking to our kids about how God is different from us, we need to be careful not to make our children feel far away from God by explaining these differences in a way that makes it impossible for them to relate to or comprehend. Instead, we can focus on how God's differences benefit us and make him all the more wonderful, powerful, and available as a loving Father.

It's important to cover three very basic facts about God to begin with: first, God has no beginning and no end; he has always existed and always will. Second, God created everything that exists, and nothing that exists came into existence apart from him. Third, there's no other God; he's the only one.

We all, at some point in our lives, struggle to try to make sense of these three facts about God and about other ways in which God differs from us. Our thoughts seem to trip over themselves as we wrestle with understanding these concepts.

It's certainly reasonable for our minds to spin a bit when thinking of these things. But it's not reasonable to conclude that because we have trouble comprehending or proving them, God can't be real.

God's Character part 4 God is trustworthy and faithful

When our children turn to God as their Father and begin to rely on his working in and with them, and in their lives, they need to know that he's trustworthy and faithful.

It's impossible to trust someone when you know nothing of his or her character, concern for you, or ability to deliver. To trust someone means that you know, without even having to think about it, that because of his or her character and love for you, that person will always act with your best interests in mind. You know that the person in question is trustworthy. It also means having the confidence that the person you trust is not only able to do what you're trusting him or her to do but will do it, because that person is faithful.

Our children, then, need to know that God loves them and is trustworthy; they can trust him with their lives, knowing that his way is the best way and will make their lives work better. They also need to know that he's faithful; they can put their faith in him and rely on him, day by day, to do what he says he'll do for them as their Father: care for them, provide for them, teach them, direct and encourage them, help them to grow, and so forth.

God's Character part 3 God Understands

God understands. He will always listen, understand, and respond to our children, no matter what happens in their lives. God is always right there for them. He understands everything they feel and go through, and he's always ready to encourage them to go forward, to give them wisdom, and to help them out. God is on their side.

The New Testament book of Hebrews tells us that Jesus is fully sympathetic, understanding even the toughest things we go through because he also went through them. Sometimes we forget that Jesus was once a child and then a teenager. (The Bible even records a time when his parents didn't understand him!) Jesus had to be obedient to his parents, go to school, do chores, and grow up in a community of friends, neighbors, and family. The single incident from Jesus' childhood included in the Bible, something that happened when he was twelve years old, seems to have been recorded to show us that JEsus had to grow up just like everyone else.

Our children can take comfort in the fact that when they pray and talk to God, they have someone listening who's on their side, who completely understands how they feel and what they're going through, and who's ready to help. We have a high priest (Jesus) who can feel it when we are weak and hurting. We have a high priest who has been tempted in every way, just as we are. But he did not sin. So let us boldly approach the throne of grace. Then we will receive mercy. We will find grace to help us when we need it.

God understands us, and our children need to be taught likewise to be understanding of others, because when they love, accept, and forgive others, always trying to understand and to give them the benefit of the doubt, they become the kind of people that others feel good about and want to be with. When people know that our children don't gossip, judge, or say negative things about others, those people can be confident that our kids won't judge them either. When our children learn to be compassionate and understanding of others, many doors in life will be opened to them. Everyone on this planet wants to be loved, understood, and thought well of. When our children know how to imitate their Father with this character trait, and they imitate him from the heart, many of the people they encounter will want to be their friend, will accept them into their group or community, and will hire them, promote them, and honor and respect them. Life works by understanding and compassion.

God's Character part 2: God is Good

God is good, and therefore what he does is good. Our children should understand that God created them for good things. His desire is to be good to our children, to give them good things, and to teach them and help them so that they can have a good life. God isn't a mean and angry God; he's good, kind, and loving, and he acts accordingly.

"The Lord God is like the sun that gives us light. He is like a shield that keeps us safe. The Lord blesses us with favor and honor. He doesn't hold back anything good from those whose lives are without blame." Psalm 84:11

"Lord, you are good. You are forgiving. YOu are full of love for all who call out to you." (Psalm 86:5

"Every good and perfect gift is from God. It comes down from the Father. He created the heavenly lights. He does not change like shadows that move." (James 1:17)

God is good to us- and our children need to be good to others. Being good to others and doing good are keys to a successful, happy life. When our children's intent is to do good to others, people see it in their lives and respect them, trust them, and want to be with them. When they do good to others, they feel great about themselves, and their confidence and self image improve. They gain a feeling of fulfillment; they become more accepted, appreciated, and loved as members of our society; and others want to, and begin to, do good for them. In other words, God rewards them, and us, for doing good to others. "Good" makes life work.

God is the Inventor and Creator of Life

I've already talked a lot about learning, growing, responsibility, and other serious things. Although our kids' spiritual life isn't something we should take lightly, we can get so wrapped up in the seriousness of it all that we end up painting God as a sour faced old school principal who demands that we get serious, sit quietly, and do only what we're told to do.

Did you know God invented: beauty, joy, happiness, humor, laughter, applause, sunshine, entertainment, fun, health, nature, sports, love, friendship, families, conversation, art, drama, music, food, animals, and even hugs?

It's important that we talk about God in relation to the good things in life, that we talk about him during the good times and not just when we need to lecture about right and wrong or struggle with someone's death or sickness or explain why some disaster took place. Our children would quickly get tired of our company if all we did was teach and correct, even if we did it gently. They'd also want to be somewhere else, anywhere else, if we were always mad, upset, or negative.

It's the same with God. We can't get away with talking about God only in bleak terms and in bleak times and still expect our children to be excited about developing a relationship with him. Instead, we should focus on seeing him as the inventor behind life's joys, the one who's throwing the party, not the one who's scolding everyone and sending them home. "God...richly provides us with everything to enjoy" (1 Timothy 6:17)

God is there with us and for us, and he gives us all the good things listed above to enjoy and a whole lot of others that aren't mentioned.

How can I explain to my children what God's character is like?

In some ways, God is veryy different from us. He's God, and he's awesome. He's the creator, and we're creatures. But that doesn't mean that we should talk about God in terms of his being so big and mysterious that we can't possibly understand who he is and what he's like. Even the unique and awesome things about God can be put in simple terms for children to understand.

Yet in many ways God is similar to us, and that's what we should focus on first when we talk to our kids about God. He made us "in his image." People have debated a lot about exactly what that phrase means, but one thing is for sure: everything good that God created as part of who we are is part of who God is, even though he's not limited to or by any of these things.

With God revealing himself as being so similar to us in so many ways, we should be able to avoid talking about God as unknowable and completely mysterious. It's through these similarities that our kids can easily begin to understand who God is and what he's like, and to feel more comfortable with him and relate to him better. Here are some of the ways in which God has shown himself to be similar to us (or rather, ways in which we're similar to God.

1. He's creative: he loves to design and make new things.
2. He's love: He enjoys giving and caring for others.
3. He has emotions: he feels, and he expresses the way he feels.
4. He has a sense of humor: He laughs and has fun.
5. He loves beauty: music and art and nature.
6. He loves being in relationships: He wants to know and be with us, as his children and his friends.
7. He loves wisdom: understanding and knowledge.
8. He talks and things: he plans and builds, and he pursues goals, enjoying work time and rest time in the process.

It's important that our children have an accurate understanding of God's character for three solid reasons. First, in order for them to trust God and develop a relationship with him, they need to know what he's like and what they can expect of him. Second, God created everything, including life itself, in harmony with his character, so understanding his character is essential to a successful life. And third, understanding God's character gives children a picture of what their own character should look like.