The training process for almost everything we teach our children is progressive. We start at ground zero, progress step by step, and end up with young people who are fully prepared to tackle life on their own. The same sequence is true for prayer. We need to start talking to our children about, and walking them through, the basics of prayer when they're still very young. We can then move them progressively forward so that when they leave our care they have a strong, healthy, and growing prayer life.
We talked earlier in this blog about a basic parenting principle: when teaching your kids something, explain the process to them and help them understand it so that they can begin to take ownership of the goal and be motivated in the training process. Our children should know what their prayer life should look like when they leave home. They should also know what their intermediate goals are was we move them progressively along. One of the main reasons we lost our children in any life training process is that we take them to a certain level and then stop, expecting them to take over at that point. But they can't travel without someone's help if they don't know where they're going, why they're headed that direction, and how exactly to get there. Therefore, any training process must continue until it's complete.
As we proceed through the prayer training process, we need to remember that each one of our children is unique, and that no effective training can follow a cookie cutter pattern. The general stages and ideas outlined over the next several posts should be used as a general guide in the process, but they should be used with flexibility to allow for our children's responses and growth. We shouldn't try to force our children to fit into the exact mold of a heavily regimented training process.
On the contrary, we should reinforce and celebrate our children's uniqueness. God didn't create any of us alike, and he responds to each one of us as individuals. God created for each one of our children a special opportunity for a relationship with him that can never be duplicated. God loves our children uniquely and wants a special relationship with them that no one else can step into. Telling our children this will help them understand even more as they grow older, that prayer isn't a religious exercise that we perform. It's an individual and very real relationship with our wonderful, loving Father.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
When is a good time and where is a good location for prayer
We need to reinforce with our children the fact of God's continual presence. He's always there, wherever we are, always listening, and always ready to help. We can teach our children about three ways in which they can talk with God during the day:
1. Anytime prayers are prayed whenever your children think of something they want to talk to God about or thank him for, no matter where they are or what they're doing. You should encourage your kids to use anytime prayers frequently so that their relationship with God isn't something thrown in as an afterthought before they go to sleep at night. It's a good idea to offer such prayers yourself, with your children, when you think of someone or something to pray about. Briefly let them know what you're thinking of talking to God about and then informally and naturally and briefly pray the prayer and go on with what you were doing, all without missing a beat.
2. Important moment prayers are prayed on the spot when something happens to your children or they're faced with some kind of emergency. Encourage your kids to make prayer their first response to urgent situations; if someone at their school gets hurt, or there's an altercation, or they or someone else is in some kind of trouble, for example. This is an important aspect of prayer for children, because they live in the moment. At the end of the day, before going to bed, they may find it hard to think back and remember all the things they might have wanted to talk to God about. Again, this is something you can do with your children when the occasion arises. Remember to keep prayer simple and normal, though whether you're doing the praying or your kids are. Lowering your voice a few notches, talking in solemn tones, or using words or language you don't use in everyday speech tells your children that prayer is something that isn't part of everyday life. It also sends the wrong message to them about how real God is and how he understands and relates to them.
3. Time with God prayers should be offered by our children at a regular time every day. Help your children understand that if they have friends and want to get to know them better, they can't just say hello when they pass them in the hall or talk to them in a group. If they really want to get close as friends, they need to spend time together. In the same way, our children need to set aside time daily to build this most important and most foundational relationship of all; with God.
With your younger children the best time for this prayer is before bed and after story time and Bible story time. Your older children should be able to change this time if they'd rather do someting else before going to bed. But it's important that you help your children develop a daily habit of set aside time for prayer. This should become a priority, right up there with taking a bath, dressing, and brushing teeth. Actually, it should be at the very top of the list, since prayer has by far the greatest impact on their lives. But it's good for kids to learn to look at prayer as a natural part of everyday life. They wouldn't go to school in the morning without brushing or combing their hair, and they wouldn't consider missing breakfact, lunch, or dinner. Neither should they consider missing their prayer time.
1. Anytime prayers are prayed whenever your children think of something they want to talk to God about or thank him for, no matter where they are or what they're doing. You should encourage your kids to use anytime prayers frequently so that their relationship with God isn't something thrown in as an afterthought before they go to sleep at night. It's a good idea to offer such prayers yourself, with your children, when you think of someone or something to pray about. Briefly let them know what you're thinking of talking to God about and then informally and naturally and briefly pray the prayer and go on with what you were doing, all without missing a beat.
2. Important moment prayers are prayed on the spot when something happens to your children or they're faced with some kind of emergency. Encourage your kids to make prayer their first response to urgent situations; if someone at their school gets hurt, or there's an altercation, or they or someone else is in some kind of trouble, for example. This is an important aspect of prayer for children, because they live in the moment. At the end of the day, before going to bed, they may find it hard to think back and remember all the things they might have wanted to talk to God about. Again, this is something you can do with your children when the occasion arises. Remember to keep prayer simple and normal, though whether you're doing the praying or your kids are. Lowering your voice a few notches, talking in solemn tones, or using words or language you don't use in everyday speech tells your children that prayer is something that isn't part of everyday life. It also sends the wrong message to them about how real God is and how he understands and relates to them.
3. Time with God prayers should be offered by our children at a regular time every day. Help your children understand that if they have friends and want to get to know them better, they can't just say hello when they pass them in the hall or talk to them in a group. If they really want to get close as friends, they need to spend time together. In the same way, our children need to set aside time daily to build this most important and most foundational relationship of all; with God.
With your younger children the best time for this prayer is before bed and after story time and Bible story time. Your older children should be able to change this time if they'd rather do someting else before going to bed. But it's important that you help your children develop a daily habit of set aside time for prayer. This should become a priority, right up there with taking a bath, dressing, and brushing teeth. Actually, it should be at the very top of the list, since prayer has by far the greatest impact on their lives. But it's good for kids to learn to look at prayer as a natural part of everyday life. They wouldn't go to school in the morning without brushing or combing their hair, and they wouldn't consider missing breakfact, lunch, or dinner. Neither should they consider missing their prayer time.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
How important is it for my children to kneel and fold their hands and close their eyes?
There's no magic in the position we choose for prayer or in what we do with our hands or eyes. We find in the Bible examples of people praying in various positions and postures and in various places.
The Bible tells of people praying in a variety of different positions Daniel knelt, Elijah put his head between his knees, Solomon raised his hands, David danced, and Moses either stood or lay down flat on his face. None of these positions was required; in each case the position was chosen by the person praying and reflected his attitude or mood.
Whatever position your children prefer to pray in is appropirate, whether it be lying in bed, sitting in a comfortable chair, kneeling, or some other posture. But you can help your children understand that sometimes it's good to choose a different position for their prayers. For example, if they say their prayers lying in bed at night and keep falling asleep in the middle of prayer, perhaps a less comfortable position would help their concentration. (Remind them that God is there with them, and he really is listening. Would they consider falling asleep while talking with one of their friends?) You can also let your children know that it's perfectly fine to change position while praying depending on what they're talking to God about. For example, they may usually pray lying down, but if they have something special and serious they want to talk to God about, they might want to get on their knees beside the bed.
The same is true of what we do with our hands. If your children are fidgeting when they should be concentrating, they may find that flasping their hands helps them focus, but there's no single prescribed way for holding our hands in prayer.
Having eyes open or closed while praying is a more significant issue. Although there's no biblical mandate to close our eyes, closed eyes are for most people more conductive to prayer. It's considered polite to look at someone we're in conversation with, as an indication that we're interested and listening. That suggests open eyes, but not when the conversation is with God. When we're tlaking to God we obviously can't see him with our eyes, but we know he's present when we pray and can be seen with our hearts. You can explain to your children that in order to show God that we're interested and concentrating, we should close our eyes so that we can focus on him with our hearts, our thoughts, and our feelings. The more time we spend with God, concentrating on him and communicating with him, the more real he'll be to us, visible to our hearts.
The Bible tells of people praying in a variety of different positions Daniel knelt, Elijah put his head between his knees, Solomon raised his hands, David danced, and Moses either stood or lay down flat on his face. None of these positions was required; in each case the position was chosen by the person praying and reflected his attitude or mood.
Whatever position your children prefer to pray in is appropirate, whether it be lying in bed, sitting in a comfortable chair, kneeling, or some other posture. But you can help your children understand that sometimes it's good to choose a different position for their prayers. For example, if they say their prayers lying in bed at night and keep falling asleep in the middle of prayer, perhaps a less comfortable position would help their concentration. (Remind them that God is there with them, and he really is listening. Would they consider falling asleep while talking with one of their friends?) You can also let your children know that it's perfectly fine to change position while praying depending on what they're talking to God about. For example, they may usually pray lying down, but if they have something special and serious they want to talk to God about, they might want to get on their knees beside the bed.
The same is true of what we do with our hands. If your children are fidgeting when they should be concentrating, they may find that flasping their hands helps them focus, but there's no single prescribed way for holding our hands in prayer.
Having eyes open or closed while praying is a more significant issue. Although there's no biblical mandate to close our eyes, closed eyes are for most people more conductive to prayer. It's considered polite to look at someone we're in conversation with, as an indication that we're interested and listening. That suggests open eyes, but not when the conversation is with God. When we're tlaking to God we obviously can't see him with our eyes, but we know he's present when we pray and can be seen with our hearts. You can explain to your children that in order to show God that we're interested and concentrating, we should close our eyes so that we can focus on him with our hearts, our thoughts, and our feelings. The more time we spend with God, concentrating on him and communicating with him, the more real he'll be to us, visible to our hearts.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
How can I explain to my children what prayer is?
Polls conducted in North America by various groups over the last five years show that there's a surprising amount of prayer going on.
88% of us pray
78% describe prayer as an important part of daily life.
63% pray often.
25% pray occasionally.
65% believe that they've had specific answers to prayer.
79% believe that praying helps speed physical recovery.
24% believe that they've been cured through prayer.
An amazing this about prayer is how universal it is. It seems to be a natural response and activity of the human heart. No matter where you search in the world or in history, it's impossible to find a society that doesn't have some concept of prayer.
God created us as his children, and since our relationship with him was intended to be not merely a great and wonderful part of our lives but the very foundation on which we would grow, learn, and accomplish, he wired us for prayer. He not only created us with all the built-in hardware and software for communication with him, so that we could talk with him on a regular basis, but he also created all of life to work in harmony with prayer.
God created everything in harmony with the foundational idea of our communicating with him as our Father. Prayer is a natural part of who we are and how we were created, and it's part of the structure that makes our lives work.
Over the years, the whole idea of prayer and what prayer is and does has gotten comlicated and confused. As society's ideas of who God is were "fuzzified," so were our ideas about prayer. If we want to teach our children about prayer- what it is and how to go about it- we need to bring it back to its most basic and simple level: prayer is talking with God, just as conversation is communicating with other people.
Prayer isn't a goal unto itself, or a religious activity that we do to get on God's good side. Prayer is simply talking and communicating with our loving Heavenly Father, who wants to teach us, guide us, provide for us, protect us, care for us, and help us have a full life and be all that he created us to be. We must be careful that we don't teach our children about prayer as if it were some mysterious activity. It should be no more complicated for them than communicating with us as their parents.
88% of us pray
78% describe prayer as an important part of daily life.
63% pray often.
25% pray occasionally.
65% believe that they've had specific answers to prayer.
79% believe that praying helps speed physical recovery.
24% believe that they've been cured through prayer.
An amazing this about prayer is how universal it is. It seems to be a natural response and activity of the human heart. No matter where you search in the world or in history, it's impossible to find a society that doesn't have some concept of prayer.
God created us as his children, and since our relationship with him was intended to be not merely a great and wonderful part of our lives but the very foundation on which we would grow, learn, and accomplish, he wired us for prayer. He not only created us with all the built-in hardware and software for communication with him, so that we could talk with him on a regular basis, but he also created all of life to work in harmony with prayer.
God created everything in harmony with the foundational idea of our communicating with him as our Father. Prayer is a natural part of who we are and how we were created, and it's part of the structure that makes our lives work.
Over the years, the whole idea of prayer and what prayer is and does has gotten comlicated and confused. As society's ideas of who God is were "fuzzified," so were our ideas about prayer. If we want to teach our children about prayer- what it is and how to go about it- we need to bring it back to its most basic and simple level: prayer is talking with God, just as conversation is communicating with other people.
Prayer isn't a goal unto itself, or a religious activity that we do to get on God's good side. Prayer is simply talking and communicating with our loving Heavenly Father, who wants to teach us, guide us, provide for us, protect us, care for us, and help us have a full life and be all that he created us to be. We must be careful that we don't teach our children about prayer as if it were some mysterious activity. It should be no more complicated for them than communicating with us as their parents.
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