Romans 10:9-10 says a key to salvation is when you "believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead." Paul asked God to strengthen the Ephesians with power "so that Christ may dwell in your hearts" (Eph 3:17). Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 1:22 that God has put his Spirit "in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." In Jeremiah 24:7, the prophet wrote that God will give the people a heart to know him, that he is the Lord. Jesus said, "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me" (Matt 15:8) about people who didn't know God personally.
It's in the heart where we get to know God in a personal way. He's chosen to live in our hearts; the central place in our lives- and when he does, he sets things in order. He organizes our priorities, rearranges our values, and reveals sin that must be addressed. Parents often become the hands and feet God uses to mold a child's heart. Our job is to find out where God is working and then partner with him to do the deeper work necessary in our kids' lives.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
The Heart Chooses Values to Hold and Convictions to Live By
All parents long for their children to establish convictions that will carry them through tough times. Sometimes those convictions help them control their own emotions. Other times, that internal foundation helps them do what's right when others are tempting them to do wrong. Responsibility, in part, is staying true to personal values even when no one is watching. It's been said you can tel a lot about who a person really is by what he does in private, not just how he acts in front of others. Convictions become the moral pillars in our lives that keep us on track.
Moses told the people to put the commands of God "upon your hearts" (Deut. 6:6). When David described the righteous person in Psalm 37;31, he wrote, "The law of his God is in his heart; his feet do not slip." "Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king's meat" (Dan 1:8) When Jeremiah described the new covenant God would establish, he wrote that it would be different from the stone tablets of the old covenant. God said, "I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts" (Jer 31:33)
Jack decided he wouldn't watch a certain TV show at his friend's house because he knew his parents wouldn't approve. Marvin chose to turn in the watch he found at school because he knew keeping it would be wrong. These kids wanted to hold true to something they believed in. Those convictions determined the choices they made.
Some children do a better job of developing convictions than others, but all need guidance in this area. When should you stand up for yourself and when should you be a servant? What does honesty look like in tough situations? How do you balance telling the truth and being gracious?
Your children likely have convictions already. Do you know what they are? What convictions are you trying to pass on? Do you have a plan for teaching them? These are heart issues and become the schoolhouse for the family.
Moses told the people to put the commands of God "upon your hearts" (Deut. 6:6). When David described the righteous person in Psalm 37;31, he wrote, "The law of his God is in his heart; his feet do not slip." "Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king's meat" (Dan 1:8) When Jeremiah described the new covenant God would establish, he wrote that it would be different from the stone tablets of the old covenant. God said, "I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts" (Jer 31:33)
Jack decided he wouldn't watch a certain TV show at his friend's house because he knew his parents wouldn't approve. Marvin chose to turn in the watch he found at school because he knew keeping it would be wrong. These kids wanted to hold true to something they believed in. Those convictions determined the choices they made.
Some children do a better job of developing convictions than others, but all need guidance in this area. When should you stand up for yourself and when should you be a servant? What does honesty look like in tough situations? How do you balance telling the truth and being gracious?
Your children likely have convictions already. Do you know what they are? What convictions are you trying to pass on? Do you have a plan for teaching them? These are heart issues and become the schoolhouse for the family.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The Heart Experiences Passion
Hezekiah was a good king who served the Lord with all his heart (2 Chron 31:21) The book of Psalms says, "I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart" (9:1) and "I seek you with all my heart" (119:10). In each of these verses, the word heart communicates the idea of passion.
When people do something wholeheartedly, they're doing it with zest and determination. Sometimes we say he put his heart into a job, or she has a heart for what she's doing.
Juan loved to play with his new video game. Every spare moment, he tried to get to the next level and improve his skills and techniques. Mom felt Juan was overdoing it a bit, so she established video game time limits and looked for more constructive outlets for Juan's passion in life. Because Juan is a determined and passionate person, she knew part of her job was to continually direct him into more appropriate activities.
Some children have a tendency toward intesity in their lives. They seem to do everything with passion. This may be okay when they're achieving their goals, but when other people get in their way and they react with unkindness, their passion creates a problem. Part of growing up is knowing when to invest emotionally in something, what to get passionate about. When you help children in this area, you're contributing to an important aspect of their hearts.
When people do something wholeheartedly, they're doing it with zest and determination. Sometimes we say he put his heart into a job, or she has a heart for what she's doing.
Juan loved to play with his new video game. Every spare moment, he tried to get to the next level and improve his skills and techniques. Mom felt Juan was overdoing it a bit, so she established video game time limits and looked for more constructive outlets for Juan's passion in life. Because Juan is a determined and passionate person, she knew part of her job was to continually direct him into more appropriate activities.
Some children have a tendency toward intesity in their lives. They seem to do everything with passion. This may be okay when they're achieving their goals, but when other people get in their way and they react with unkindness, their passion creates a problem. Part of growing up is knowing when to invest emotionally in something, what to get passionate about. When you help children in this area, you're contributing to an important aspect of their hearts.
Monday, February 23, 2009
The Heart Experiences Guilt and Conviction of Sin
When Peter preached on Pentecost, people 'were cut to the heart" (Acts 2:37). When David cut off part of Saul's robe in the cave, 1 Samuel 24:5 says his "heart smote him." David experienced conviction again when he counted the fighting men (2 Sam 24:10). In Psalm 51, after he sinned with Bathsheba, David prayed to God, "Create in me a pure heart" (v10) and cried, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart" (v17).
The Holy Spirit convicts the hearts of people. Guilt's purpose is to point out sin in our lives and motivate us to deal with it. Sometimes you can just look at a child and see that he's guilty. He knows it. He can feel it. Guilt affects kids' hearts and robs them of peace.
A good correction routine gives children a chance to gain a clean slate by admitting wrong and asking forgiveness. Often, those steps do the necessary work of cleaning up the heart. After all, God says in 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
Six year old Peter told his mom, "I have to tell you something. Last week I broke the glass ornament off your dresser; then I hid it in my room. Here it is. I'm sorry." Peter's mom valued the ornament but loved her son even more. "Your heart was bothering you all week, wasn't it? You did the right thing by coming and telling me about it. I'll miss my ornament, but your heart is more important than anything like this. I'm glad you decided to make it right. Come here and give me a hug. I forgive you."
Guilt is experienced in the heart, motivating children to cover up wrongdoing, blame others, or justify it, or confess and make things right. As you help your children process their offenses, you can do some significant heart work. A clear and strong conscience becomes a valuable ally as children maneuver through life's challenges.
The Holy Spirit convicts the hearts of people. Guilt's purpose is to point out sin in our lives and motivate us to deal with it. Sometimes you can just look at a child and see that he's guilty. He knows it. He can feel it. Guilt affects kids' hearts and robs them of peace.
A good correction routine gives children a chance to gain a clean slate by admitting wrong and asking forgiveness. Often, those steps do the necessary work of cleaning up the heart. After all, God says in 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
Six year old Peter told his mom, "I have to tell you something. Last week I broke the glass ornament off your dresser; then I hid it in my room. Here it is. I'm sorry." Peter's mom valued the ornament but loved her son even more. "Your heart was bothering you all week, wasn't it? You did the right thing by coming and telling me about it. I'll miss my ornament, but your heart is more important than anything like this. I'm glad you decided to make it right. Come here and give me a hug. I forgive you."
Guilt is experienced in the heart, motivating children to cover up wrongdoing, blame others, or justify it, or confess and make things right. As you help your children process their offenses, you can do some significant heart work. A clear and strong conscience becomes a valuable ally as children maneuver through life's challenges.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The Heart is Where Temptations and Desires Develop
With commitments, determinations, and emotions all converging in the heart, it's no wonder temptation germinates there.
Matthew 6:21 says, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." SOlomon's "wives turned his heart after other gods" (1 Kings 11:4). Paul wrote, "My heart's desire and prayer to God for the Israelites is that they may be saved" (Rom 10:1)
Clearly, desires aren't always bad; in fact, many human longings are good. Knowing the difference, however, can be a challenge at times. Of course, we all wish your children would desire the right things and avoid tempting situations. One mom saw her eight-year-old daughter was easily swayed by her friends. She looked for ways to help her daughter take a stand for righteousness. She talked with her daughter about what was right and wrong in various situations and helped her see what temptation is and how she was making some dangerous choices by giving in to her friends. The girl responded well to her mother and began to lok for ways to stand for what's right.
A twelve year old asked his mom why she doesn't get angry when she gets cutt off on the road, giving Mom a perfect opportunity to talk about how she lets it go so she doesn't have to harbor the anger. She knew he needed that message, because he'd been treated unfairly at school and was tempted to act out his own anger. He listened and pondered what she said. Mom watched the wheels turn in his head and knew she had just connected somewhere deep inside her son.
To command a child to "stop having a bad attitude" may draw attention to the child's problem, but it doesn't usually address the heart issues the attitude represents. Excusing a child's disrespect by saying, "At least he does what I tell him to do," focuses on behavior and misses an opportunity to do some deeper work.
It's important to discipline children for wrong behavior, but that's not enough. Children often need help procesing much of what they're wrestling with on the inside. Their feelings may dominate their decisions. they may long for closeness but not know how to get it. God has placed parents in a position in their children's lives to help this process.
Sometimes a well-meaning Christian will say something like "I don't think it's possible to work on the heart. That's God's job. Children who haven't yet committed their lives to Christ can't change their hearts, so asking parents to do so is just a waste of time." Although it's true that supreme heart change takes place through the gift of salvation, God has given parents the responsibility to till the soil and teach their children how to respond to God's continual work of grace in their lives. The Bible uses the term repentance to describe the personal responsibility we all have to change our hearts. God expects people to respond to him, and he calls them to repentance regularly in his Word. Parents are in a God-given role of teaching their children every day what it means to respond to God. When you understand your potential as a dad or mom in your child's life, you can understand the huge spiritual opportunity and responsibility God has given you.
Matthew 6:21 says, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." SOlomon's "wives turned his heart after other gods" (1 Kings 11:4). Paul wrote, "My heart's desire and prayer to God for the Israelites is that they may be saved" (Rom 10:1)
Clearly, desires aren't always bad; in fact, many human longings are good. Knowing the difference, however, can be a challenge at times. Of course, we all wish your children would desire the right things and avoid tempting situations. One mom saw her eight-year-old daughter was easily swayed by her friends. She looked for ways to help her daughter take a stand for righteousness. She talked with her daughter about what was right and wrong in various situations and helped her see what temptation is and how she was making some dangerous choices by giving in to her friends. The girl responded well to her mother and began to lok for ways to stand for what's right.
A twelve year old asked his mom why she doesn't get angry when she gets cutt off on the road, giving Mom a perfect opportunity to talk about how she lets it go so she doesn't have to harbor the anger. She knew he needed that message, because he'd been treated unfairly at school and was tempted to act out his own anger. He listened and pondered what she said. Mom watched the wheels turn in his head and knew she had just connected somewhere deep inside her son.
To command a child to "stop having a bad attitude" may draw attention to the child's problem, but it doesn't usually address the heart issues the attitude represents. Excusing a child's disrespect by saying, "At least he does what I tell him to do," focuses on behavior and misses an opportunity to do some deeper work.
It's important to discipline children for wrong behavior, but that's not enough. Children often need help procesing much of what they're wrestling with on the inside. Their feelings may dominate their decisions. they may long for closeness but not know how to get it. God has placed parents in a position in their children's lives to help this process.
Sometimes a well-meaning Christian will say something like "I don't think it's possible to work on the heart. That's God's job. Children who haven't yet committed their lives to Christ can't change their hearts, so asking parents to do so is just a waste of time." Although it's true that supreme heart change takes place through the gift of salvation, God has given parents the responsibility to till the soil and teach their children how to respond to God's continual work of grace in their lives. The Bible uses the term repentance to describe the personal responsibility we all have to change our hearts. God expects people to respond to him, and he calls them to repentance regularly in his Word. Parents are in a God-given role of teaching their children every day what it means to respond to God. When you understand your potential as a dad or mom in your child's life, you can understand the huge spiritual opportunity and responsibility God has given you.
Monday, February 16, 2009
The Heart is Where We Experience Emotions
People usually recognize that the heart and emotions go together. In fact, some people see this aspect of the heart as the only one. They don't realize how many other parts of the heart affect a child. Many families ignore emotions or view them as a nuisance. Emotions affect children more than they realize, and it's important to put them in proper perspective and plan to deal with them in family life.
Jesus told his disciples, "Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (John 14:27). In Colossians 3:15, Paul wrote, "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts." The Mosaic law says, "Do not hate your brother in your heart." (Lev 19:17). The king saw Nehimiah was troubled and said, "This can be nothing but sadness of heart" (Neh. 2:2) Proverbs 17:22 says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine."
Joel's dog, Skippy, died. Joal, age thirteen had raised that dog from a puppy. They had played together, slept together, and Joel had taken care of him when he was sick. Now his beloved friend was gone. His heart was broken; the pain was intense. He spent the next few days bouncing between lashing out at those around him and sitting quietly and introspectively. His heart was working hard to absorb this unwanted new experience: life without his friend.
Mom was patient with Joel, giving him space to grieve and work things out. She initiated conversation with him often and looked for ways to comfort him. Sometimes Joel used his sadness as an excuse for being unkind or disrespectful, but Mom made it clear that grieving was okay and meanness was not. Over time, Joel adjusted to life without Skippy. Mom's approach was successful because she considered Joel's heart during that time.
Jesus told his disciples, "Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (John 14:27). In Colossians 3:15, Paul wrote, "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts." The Mosaic law says, "Do not hate your brother in your heart." (Lev 19:17). The king saw Nehimiah was troubled and said, "This can be nothing but sadness of heart" (Neh. 2:2) Proverbs 17:22 says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine."
Joel's dog, Skippy, died. Joal, age thirteen had raised that dog from a puppy. They had played together, slept together, and Joel had taken care of him when he was sick. Now his beloved friend was gone. His heart was broken; the pain was intense. He spent the next few days bouncing between lashing out at those around him and sitting quietly and introspectively. His heart was working hard to absorb this unwanted new experience: life without his friend.
Mom was patient with Joel, giving him space to grieve and work things out. She initiated conversation with him often and looked for ways to comfort him. Sometimes Joel used his sadness as an excuse for being unkind or disrespectful, but Mom made it clear that grieving was okay and meanness was not. Over time, Joel adjusted to life without Skippy. Mom's approach was successful because she considered Joel's heart during that time.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
The Heart is where we feel close to others
In Acts 4:32, the early disciples "were one in heart and mind," a statement of their unity. Jonathan's armor bearer expressed unity with his boss by saying, "Do all that you have in mind... I am with you heart and soal" (1 Sam 14:7)
In the end times, God will restore closeness in family life. Malachi 4:6 says, "He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers."
On the other hand, people also can feel distant from others in their hearts. Michael, David's wife, didn't like how he was worshipping the Lord and "despised him in her heart" (2 Sam 6:16)
As parents, we long to connect with our children in meaningful ways. When children are young, those special moments happen regularly, even daily. You read a book to your four year old every night, he leans on your arm, and you cherish those times of closeness. He's ready to believe everything you say. You play a card matching game on the floor with your five year old, and she laughs and says, "you're fun to play with, Mommy." You correct your six year old, and he cries that repentant cry and wants a hug and tears come to your eyes too, because you know you've connected with his heart.
These special moments of heart connection also happen with older children, but, in many families, they come less often. A fourteen year old gets a positive school report, giving her dad an opportunity to affirm her hard work. Her smile confirms he made the heart connection he'd hoped for. A seventeen year old gets fired from his job and wants to talk about it. His mom listens for a while and can tell her son appreciates her acceptance. You take your teenage son and his friends to the beach and try extra hard to relate in ways that don't embarrass your son. At the end of the day, one of the kids says, "your mom is cool," and your son gives you that look of approval. You know you connected at heart level. The closeness you and your children feel (or don't feel) is a heart funtion.
In the end times, God will restore closeness in family life. Malachi 4:6 says, "He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers."
On the other hand, people also can feel distant from others in their hearts. Michael, David's wife, didn't like how he was worshipping the Lord and "despised him in her heart" (2 Sam 6:16)
As parents, we long to connect with our children in meaningful ways. When children are young, those special moments happen regularly, even daily. You read a book to your four year old every night, he leans on your arm, and you cherish those times of closeness. He's ready to believe everything you say. You play a card matching game on the floor with your five year old, and she laughs and says, "you're fun to play with, Mommy." You correct your six year old, and he cries that repentant cry and wants a hug and tears come to your eyes too, because you know you've connected with his heart.
These special moments of heart connection also happen with older children, but, in many families, they come less often. A fourteen year old gets a positive school report, giving her dad an opportunity to affirm her hard work. Her smile confirms he made the heart connection he'd hoped for. A seventeen year old gets fired from his job and wants to talk about it. His mom listens for a while and can tell her son appreciates her acceptance. You take your teenage son and his friends to the beach and try extra hard to relate in ways that don't embarrass your son. At the end of the day, one of the kids says, "your mom is cool," and your son gives you that look of approval. You know you connected at heart level. The closeness you and your children feel (or don't feel) is a heart funtion.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Heart is the Place of Commitments and Determination
After the wrestling, children reach conclusions that turn into decisions and commitments. Jesus told the expert in the law that the greatest commandment is to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart" (Matt 22:37). Paul encouraged the believers in Antioch to "remain true to the Lord with all their hearts" (Acts 11:23). Moses told the people, "Take to heart all the words I have solemnly declared to you this day... They are your life" (Deut 32:46-47). Proverbs 3:5 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart." Each of these verses is a call to commitment.
Commitments provide purpose, meaning, and direction. Without these, the heart lives in continual turmoil, tossed around by fear, anger, or anxiety. Often, a continual problem with negative emotions indicates the need for some major heart work. Children need to understand more about life and how to process it and even adopt new teaching into their value systems.
Five year old Jerry decided he was going to help in Sunday School. Each Sunday when he got to church, he marched right in and looked for ways to help the teacher. Dad could see he had a commitment to help, and it affected the boy's whole Sunday experience. Dad looked for ways to encourage Jerry's heart commitment. Ralph, age fourteen, was determined to save money for a remote controlled car. Mom told us, "He set his heart on getting that car and spent hours earning the money." Martha was committed to her friends but not to her schoolwork, requiring some major heart shirts to get her commitments into proper balance.
Sometimes parents are encouraged by the commitments they see their children make, and other times red flags go up, warning parents to take action. Kids can become so focused on what they want that they get angery when they can't get it. Helping our children adjust and balance their commitments is part of the heartwork necessary to develop maturity in their lives.
Commitments provide purpose, meaning, and direction. Without these, the heart lives in continual turmoil, tossed around by fear, anger, or anxiety. Often, a continual problem with negative emotions indicates the need for some major heart work. Children need to understand more about life and how to process it and even adopt new teaching into their value systems.
Five year old Jerry decided he was going to help in Sunday School. Each Sunday when he got to church, he marched right in and looked for ways to help the teacher. Dad could see he had a commitment to help, and it affected the boy's whole Sunday experience. Dad looked for ways to encourage Jerry's heart commitment. Ralph, age fourteen, was determined to save money for a remote controlled car. Mom told us, "He set his heart on getting that car and spent hours earning the money." Martha was committed to her friends but not to her schoolwork, requiring some major heart shirts to get her commitments into proper balance.
Sometimes parents are encouraged by the commitments they see their children make, and other times red flags go up, warning parents to take action. Kids can become so focused on what they want that they get angery when they can't get it. Helping our children adjust and balance their commitments is part of the heartwork necessary to develop maturity in their lives.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The Heart is a Wrestling Place
The heart is where we fight internal battles as we try to make sense of life.
For example, Jesus knew the teachers of the law were struggling inside with the fact that he forgave the paralytic. In Matthew 9:4 he said, "Why do you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts?" Mary was intrigued by all the events of Jesus' birth, and the Bible says in Luke 2:19 that she pondered all these things in her heart. When the two disciples on the road to Emmaus realized their surprise guest was Jesus, they reflected on the experience by saying, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?" (Luke 24:32)
When experience, teaching, and values need to be integrated into our lives, it happens in the workshop of our hearts. Information comes into our heads constantly, but much of it just stays there. Only what moves into our hearts becomes part of our lives.
When eight yeart old Jordan tells himself, "I'm no good. No one wants to be with me. I'll never get it right," he's filling his heart with negative images of himself. Rebecca feels good in her heart because she refused to join those who were disrespectful to their teacher. Jack's mom can see a heart problem because he scrowls and complains whenever she asks him to do something. In their hearts, children wrestle with and come to conclusions about life and its challenges.
This deeper part of a person's life is often a mystery, leaving parents confused about how to effect any significant change in their children. Recognizing that the heart is a wrestling place gives parents the motivation to relate to their children on a deeper level.
For example, Jesus knew the teachers of the law were struggling inside with the fact that he forgave the paralytic. In Matthew 9:4 he said, "Why do you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts?" Mary was intrigued by all the events of Jesus' birth, and the Bible says in Luke 2:19 that she pondered all these things in her heart. When the two disciples on the road to Emmaus realized their surprise guest was Jesus, they reflected on the experience by saying, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?" (Luke 24:32)
When experience, teaching, and values need to be integrated into our lives, it happens in the workshop of our hearts. Information comes into our heads constantly, but much of it just stays there. Only what moves into our hearts becomes part of our lives.
When eight yeart old Jordan tells himself, "I'm no good. No one wants to be with me. I'll never get it right," he's filling his heart with negative images of himself. Rebecca feels good in her heart because she refused to join those who were disrespectful to their teacher. Jack's mom can see a heart problem because he scrowls and complains whenever she asks him to do something. In their hearts, children wrestle with and come to conclusions about life and its challenges.
This deeper part of a person's life is often a mystery, leaving parents confused about how to effect any significant change in their children. Recognizing that the heart is a wrestling place gives parents the motivation to relate to their children on a deeper level.
Monday, February 9, 2009
What is the Heart
More than 750 verses in the Bible use the term heart. It's where longings grow, secrets are kept, pain is felt, plans are devised, commitments solidify, and character is developed. In short, the heart is a person's center, the deepest spot in one's life.
When you talk to yourself, you're doing work in your heart, sorting out issues, synchronizing them with other priorities and values, and preparing responses. Discouragement is felt in the heart, as well as anxiety, fear, and anger. Peace, joy, and love also produce their fruits in the hart.
Instead of working on the heart, many parents settle for simply changing their children's behavior. After all, you can see behavior and, most of the time, you can control it. The heart is a mysterious place over which you have little control. The work of understanding it, though, pays off well as you help your children make lasting changes. You experience greater closeness, and children develop maturity.
When you talk to yourself, you're doing work in your heart, sorting out issues, synchronizing them with other priorities and values, and preparing responses. Discouragement is felt in the heart, as well as anxiety, fear, and anger. Peace, joy, and love also produce their fruits in the hart.
Instead of working on the heart, many parents settle for simply changing their children's behavior. After all, you can see behavior and, most of the time, you can control it. The heart is a mysterious place over which you have little control. The work of understanding it, though, pays off well as you help your children make lasting changes. You experience greater closeness, and children develop maturity.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
View Your Family as a Team
A sense of teamwork exists in a healthy family. In unhealthy families individuals focus on themselves rather than the good of others, resulting in divisiveness and competition.The Bible gives illustrations of families who lacked a sense of teamwork and the results were disastrous. Some families, like Abraham with his two sons Isaac and Ishmael in the Old Testament, were torn because of disunity. When Isaac grew up, he didn't do much better than his father. Isaac and Rebekah took favorites. Dad favored Esau and Mom favored Jacob resulting in their family splitting up.
You'd think they'd learn, but then comes the story of Jacob and his twelve sons. Dad favored Joseph creating more sibling conflict. A lack of teamwork in the family was passed on from generation to generation.You may choose to call your family a team sometimes just to communicate the unity you share. When a job needs to be done, the "Smith Team" pulls together. You may work hard to clean up the house, or build a garden, or do yard work. Then you also have special privileges together as a family, going out to eat, playing games, or having ice cream.Family commitment reveals itself differently in each family. In some cases it means all showing up at sporting events for the children or working together on a paper route. In another it means guarding the dinner hour, requiring that the family be together at that time, making dinner a significant social event.
The family enjoys unity as its members share activities, experiences, and common struggles. As you talk about teamwork and unity your family will recognize the benefits and see the privileges associated with being a part of your family.
You'd think they'd learn, but then comes the story of Jacob and his twelve sons. Dad favored Joseph creating more sibling conflict. A lack of teamwork in the family was passed on from generation to generation.You may choose to call your family a team sometimes just to communicate the unity you share. When a job needs to be done, the "Smith Team" pulls together. You may work hard to clean up the house, or build a garden, or do yard work. Then you also have special privileges together as a family, going out to eat, playing games, or having ice cream.Family commitment reveals itself differently in each family. In some cases it means all showing up at sporting events for the children or working together on a paper route. In another it means guarding the dinner hour, requiring that the family be together at that time, making dinner a significant social event.
The family enjoys unity as its members share activities, experiences, and common struggles. As you talk about teamwork and unity your family will recognize the benefits and see the privileges associated with being a part of your family.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Emotional Cues
Since the heart is where decisions are formed, commitments made, and beliefs established, your child’s emotions become an opportunity for parenting. Look for ways to use your children's emotions to help you understand their hearts.
Many parents are afraid of their children’s emotions and try to minimize them. It’s true that one parental responsibility is to help our children manage their feelings effectively. But, contrary to popular belief, emotions aren’t an enemy. They reveal valuable information about what’s going on in the heart.
Children may express their emotions freely, giving parents obvious cues to guide their teaching and correction in this area. Some children, however, are more reserved, processing emotions internally without outbursts, tantrums, or crying episodes. Parents of these children must be even more aware of small cues, engage their children in conversation more often, and look for ways to help their children work through life’s challenges without clogging their hearts with unresolved emotional residue.
Excitement uncovers what your children get passionate about. Joy reveals what your kids like. Anxiety discloses where your children feel weak or lack control. Sadness pinpoints pain in a child’s life. And anger reveals unmet desires, a hurtful experience, or a violation of what they believe is right.
Don’t back away from your child’s emotional intensity. Instead, figure out what else is going on in the heart. Kids long to connect with others, but many don’t know how. Emotions are an essential tool for understanding and building relationships. Teach your children how to see, understand, control, and relate to emotions and you’ll give them a gift they’ll use for the rest of their lives.
Many parents are afraid of their children’s emotions and try to minimize them. It’s true that one parental responsibility is to help our children manage their feelings effectively. But, contrary to popular belief, emotions aren’t an enemy. They reveal valuable information about what’s going on in the heart.
Children may express their emotions freely, giving parents obvious cues to guide their teaching and correction in this area. Some children, however, are more reserved, processing emotions internally without outbursts, tantrums, or crying episodes. Parents of these children must be even more aware of small cues, engage their children in conversation more often, and look for ways to help their children work through life’s challenges without clogging their hearts with unresolved emotional residue.
Excitement uncovers what your children get passionate about. Joy reveals what your kids like. Anxiety discloses where your children feel weak or lack control. Sadness pinpoints pain in a child’s life. And anger reveals unmet desires, a hurtful experience, or a violation of what they believe is right.
Don’t back away from your child’s emotional intensity. Instead, figure out what else is going on in the heart. Kids long to connect with others, but many don’t know how. Emotions are an essential tool for understanding and building relationships. Teach your children how to see, understand, control, and relate to emotions and you’ll give them a gift they’ll use for the rest of their lives.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
