Encourage your children to pray an informal prayer before they start reading the Bible, asking God to teach them and help them understand and apply what they read. Also, and this goes against everything in our high speed culture, encourage them to slow down and think about what they're reading, and even to talk with God about things that strike them or that they don't understand.
Teach them that reading our Bibles should be like a treasure hunt. We're looking for the golden nuggets of truth that are the keys to making our lives all that our loving Father created them to be. Racing through the Bible is merely reading a great book; learning from it and from God takes a little time and concentration.
You can help your children learn the skill of slowing down and reflecting on what the stories mean while they're young, when you're reading to them from a Bible storybook. Allow your young children to interrupt with questions, and take the time to answer them. When you see an important application in the story, briefly mention it before going on. In addition, discuss the story when you're finished; don't just close the book and rush on to something else. This will ehlp your children focus on the purpose of the activity, which is to allow our Father in heaven to teach us his principles for life and help us to be all that we can be. (Remember not to force a lesson. Sometimes talking about what you've read means just talking about the story.)
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Habits aren't only for Nuns
It's important that we not only teach our children from the Bible but also help them establist a regular habit of Bible reading. Let your children know that Bible reading is something all of us should do most every day of our lives. It's not just entertainment; it's one of the foundations for a successful life. Help your children of all ages develop and continue in this daily habit. Let your older children choose when they'd like to read their Bibles during they day, and then encourage them to stick with that schedule. And help your children dedicate a little more time to their Bible reading as they grow older.
One of the best ways to reinforce the value and importance of regularity in Bible reading and study is to demonstrate this daily habit yourself. Purposely choose a time for your own Bible reading and study when your children will know where you are and what you're doing. A great way to encourage your older children in their Bible exploration is to talk to them occasionally about what you're reading and learning and how what you're learning is affecting your life.
One of the best ways to reinforce the value and importance of regularity in Bible reading and study is to demonstrate this daily habit yourself. Purposely choose a time for your own Bible reading and study when your children will know where you are and what you're doing. A great way to encourage your older children in their Bible exploration is to talk to them occasionally about what you're reading and learning and how what you're learning is affecting your life.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Parenting Tip
Teach Children What to Do Next Time
Don't you feel like some days you have to discipline kids for the same things over and over again? The child who has a problem hitting, interrupting, or just being annoying to others may need a lot of correction.It's these problems that are great candidates for a Positive Conclusion. Each time the negative behavior takes place, have the child take a short break and then come back to you for a debriefing. During that conversation, one of the questions should be, "What are you going to do differently next time?" When you ask this question your child has to state the right response back to you. If Bill is frustrated with his brother Jack and responds by arguing or saying unkind things or grabbing, the right response is to talk about the problem. If you continue to discipline Bill for these wrong responses and he continues to verbalize that the right response is to talk about it, eventually he is able to catch himself sooner and talk to Jack about the problem without using the negative behaviors. This takes time and repeated discipline sessions, but children learn by repetition and frequent, gently reminders.Sometimes children don't know what they should have done differently. In fact, some parents are so used to telling their children what not to do, they, themselves, don't even know what the right response should be. Sometimes the solutions are not easy. That's all the more reason to use this question with children. Both parent and child can brainstorm about alternatives to unwanted behavior. By communicating the right response to you verbally, your child will begin to see the difference and learn to change.
Don't you feel like some days you have to discipline kids for the same things over and over again? The child who has a problem hitting, interrupting, or just being annoying to others may need a lot of correction.It's these problems that are great candidates for a Positive Conclusion. Each time the negative behavior takes place, have the child take a short break and then come back to you for a debriefing. During that conversation, one of the questions should be, "What are you going to do differently next time?" When you ask this question your child has to state the right response back to you. If Bill is frustrated with his brother Jack and responds by arguing or saying unkind things or grabbing, the right response is to talk about the problem. If you continue to discipline Bill for these wrong responses and he continues to verbalize that the right response is to talk about it, eventually he is able to catch himself sooner and talk to Jack about the problem without using the negative behaviors. This takes time and repeated discipline sessions, but children learn by repetition and frequent, gently reminders.Sometimes children don't know what they should have done differently. In fact, some parents are so used to telling their children what not to do, they, themselves, don't even know what the right response should be. Sometimes the solutions are not easy. That's all the more reason to use this question with children. Both parent and child can brainstorm about alternatives to unwanted behavior. By communicating the right response to you verbally, your child will begin to see the difference and learn to change.
When you don't feel like the energizer bunny...
Variety can be the spice of Bible learning for kids, but a parent with a little energy and excitement can also go a long way. If Bible time with our kids is scheduled at the end of the day and we're tired, it's easy to rush through or even skip it- or worse yet, get cranky about it or bored with it ourselves. Before going to read with your children, remember how important this activity is and try your best to gather up enough energy to make it a memorable experience. If you're just too exhausted, some creativity and/or variety will help. Bring out the animated Bible video or suggest that an older brother or sister read with the younger ones. Alternatively, if your spouse is involved in the teaching process, ask him or her to take over for the evening. The best way to help your children in the process is to be upbeat and spontaneous. Don't rush; stop frequently for questions; hide the book periodically and ask your kids simple trivia questions about what you just read; praise them for their correct answers; and make the occasion special by spending a little extra time with them once the nightly prayer and Bible time is finished.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
The Boredom Bugaboo
Kids love adventure and variety. Be careful not to fall into a rut, following the same pattern over and over again in your Bible time. With young kids, consider buying or renting some animated Bible story videos and using them as a special once a week replacement for the regular Bible story or reading. Use a Bible storybook on CD-ROM for a few nights or consider using a different Bible storybook or Bible. Or sit in a different spot- in the kitchen, for example, having some milk and cookies- while you're reading the story.
With older children who are reading on their own, variety may be even more important. Offer to read to them every once in a while. Rent a movie such as The Ten Commandments or suggest alternative Christian literature for a change. Try calling the whole family together to read a Bible story or portion of the Bible. If at any time your children start to get bored or begin to lose interest in the process, examine your presentation and change what you're doing or mix in some variety to bring the excitement level up again.
With older children who are reading on their own, variety may be even more important. Offer to read to them every once in a while. Rent a movie such as The Ten Commandments or suggest alternative Christian literature for a change. Try calling the whole family together to read a Bible story or portion of the Bible. If at any time your children start to get bored or begin to lose interest in the process, examine your presentation and change what you're doing or mix in some variety to bring the excitement level up again.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
A bill of Rights (and Wrongs)
We should make a point of teaching our kids that the Bible contains the truth about how life works. One of the greatest parenting benefits the Bible provides is a solid foundation for teaching children what's right. When we teach our children that there's a right and a wrong way of doing things, we imply that there are unchanging principles and absolute truths that govern life. If, on the other hand, we teach them without substantiating our claim that what we're teaching is truth, that it comes from God, we set the stage for someone else to come along and convince them of the opposite. If God didn't create things to function in a certain way, then everything is random and a matter of opinion, and telling our children that they have to be honest becomes merely our opinion of what they should do.
If there's no absolute right or wrong, then our children could decide that lying consistently makes more sense to them than truth telling and is the way that they want to live their lives. If truth is subjective and random, who are we to tell our children how they should behave? It's our opinion against theirs. We may tell htem, "This is how it's going to be as ong as you're under my roof," but that doesn't prepare them for life; it just prolongs the inevitable.
If there's no absolute right or wrong, then our children could decide that lying consistently makes more sense to them than truth telling and is the way that they want to live their lives. If truth is subjective and random, who are we to tell our children how they should behave? It's our opinion against theirs. We may tell htem, "This is how it's going to be as ong as you're under my roof," but that doesn't prepare them for life; it just prolongs the inevitable.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Fish that eat people and Donkeys that talk
God gave us a book full of marvelous stories about kings and peasants, battles and miracles, fish that swallow people, donkeys that talk, and so on. He didn't give us a dry as dust book of rules and guidelines. In the Bible, God gave us a wonderful variety of literary forms, including poetry, visions, and proverbs, but especialy stories that bring life's guidebook to life and make it more interesting and effective.
Kids will forget some of our applications and lessons, no matter how sincere our efforts and their intentions, long before they forget the stories. These stories are meant to teach us and our children, but if we're continually light on the story and heavy on the lesson, we'll end up light on the effect. Be content to simply read the stories to your younger children, letting the lessons come in response to questions and to situations that give you an appropriate parallel.
It's important to involve both sides of the brain int he biblical process, the left brain for explanations, the right brain for images and stories. Especially for some kids, stories are the best teaching tool by far. If we as parents learn to enjoy the stories of the Bible as stories before we draw all kinds of applications, we'll help our kids build a reservoir on which they can draw in daily life, and on which we can draw when we talk with them about God's instruction manual.
Kids will forget some of our applications and lessons, no matter how sincere our efforts and their intentions, long before they forget the stories. These stories are meant to teach us and our children, but if we're continually light on the story and heavy on the lesson, we'll end up light on the effect. Be content to simply read the stories to your younger children, letting the lessons come in response to questions and to situations that give you an appropriate parallel.
It's important to involve both sides of the brain int he biblical process, the left brain for explanations, the right brain for images and stories. Especially for some kids, stories are the best teaching tool by far. If we as parents learn to enjoy the stories of the Bible as stories before we draw all kinds of applications, we'll help our kids build a reservoir on which they can draw in daily life, and on which we can draw when we talk with them about God's instruction manual.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Parenting Tip #2 Perseverance
Perseverance
Although parents need to be careful not to focus on behavior alone, it’s important to realize that sometimes behavior can change the heart. Ideally, we change from the inside out, adjusting the heart and giving God greater control, resulting in outward change. But that isn’t how it always works, with children or adults. In the Bible we read God’s commands for behavior—and his expectation of obedience. These commands are important not just for their external value, but because obeying brings inner change as well.
Sometimes people just don’t feel like doing what’s right. Does that excuse their behavior? After all, they don’t want to be hypocrites, and since they don’t feel like doing what’s right, maybe they should continue to do the wrong thing until their hearts change. Of course the faulty reasoning here is obvious. Even if you don’t feel like it, you need to do the right thing.
Many of the chores children do are a struggle for them. Unless your kids are exceptional, they get frustrated with work and view cleaning their rooms, washing the dishes, or raking leaves as an intrusion into their lives. In those moments, pray for heart change, talk about deeper issues, but continue to hold the line.
Children who learn to work hard are eventually surprised by the amount of work they can do, but it takes time. By teaching children how to fulfill their responsibilities, even when they don’t feel like it, develops the character quality of perseverance in their hearts.
Although parents need to be careful not to focus on behavior alone, it’s important to realize that sometimes behavior can change the heart. Ideally, we change from the inside out, adjusting the heart and giving God greater control, resulting in outward change. But that isn’t how it always works, with children or adults. In the Bible we read God’s commands for behavior—and his expectation of obedience. These commands are important not just for their external value, but because obeying brings inner change as well.
Sometimes people just don’t feel like doing what’s right. Does that excuse their behavior? After all, they don’t want to be hypocrites, and since they don’t feel like doing what’s right, maybe they should continue to do the wrong thing until their hearts change. Of course the faulty reasoning here is obvious. Even if you don’t feel like it, you need to do the right thing.
Many of the chores children do are a struggle for them. Unless your kids are exceptional, they get frustrated with work and view cleaning their rooms, washing the dishes, or raking leaves as an intrusion into their lives. In those moments, pray for heart change, talk about deeper issues, but continue to hold the line.
Children who learn to work hard are eventually surprised by the amount of work they can do, but it takes time. By teaching children how to fulfill their responsibilities, even when they don’t feel like it, develops the character quality of perseverance in their hearts.
Practical tips on how to read the Bible with your children part 1
Read with an attitude: Your own attitude toward the Bible is contagious; it will likely become your children's attitude. Respect God's Word as a practical guide to life rather than treating it as an obscure religious handbook that sits quietly on a shelf gathering dust. When you're making decisions as a family, helping your children make their own decisions, or feeling curious about how something in life works-saving money, for example- look up what the Bible says. When you're teaching your children life principles such as honesty and kindness, anchor what you're teaching with actual verses from the Bible.
But be careful not to refer to the BIble only when things are serious. Allow it to become a normal and everyday part of your life- a constant, practical, helpful reference that's used daily. The Bible should be as natural a guide for life as TV Guide is for television. If you're just beginning this process, start slowly and build. You'll have your whole family running for cover if you go from little or no Bible study straight to biblical blitz with both barrels blazing. The best first step is to sit down and talk to your children about what the Bible is, what it teaches, and what role it should play in people's lives. Talk to them about beginning to use it as the instruction manual for life in your family, and move forward with everyone working together. It's this daily access that keeps God's wisdom working in our children's hearts and minds.
But be careful not to refer to the BIble only when things are serious. Allow it to become a normal and everyday part of your life- a constant, practical, helpful reference that's used daily. The Bible should be as natural a guide for life as TV Guide is for television. If you're just beginning this process, start slowly and build. You'll have your whole family running for cover if you go from little or no Bible study straight to biblical blitz with both barrels blazing. The best first step is to sit down and talk to your children about what the Bible is, what it teaches, and what role it should play in people's lives. Talk to them about beginning to use it as the instruction manual for life in your family, and move forward with everyone working together. It's this daily access that keeps God's wisdom working in our children's hearts and minds.
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