What's the purpose of church, and how can it help my children part 2

Support by a loving comunity

The second purpose and benefit church provides is community. When we bring our children up with the support of a loving Christian community, our children are encouraged by others, inspired by their example, and held accountable by a wider group than just their own parents. In addition, we as parents are supported and helped in our task of parenting.

Jesus himself grew up in community and benefited from it just look at Luke 2:42-45

Our children need to be around other people and learn from them. They need to see people other than their parents living God's way. They need to know mentors at every stage of life who teach by living, struggling, and succeeding where our kids can see them. There should be a whole range of people of different ages painting pictures with their lives, words, and actions for our children to store in their memories and draw on in daily life.

What is the purpose of the church, and how can it help my children cont

Here are some helpful tips for.

1. On the way to church talk briefly about how you're looking forward to learning more about God during the service and sunday school and suggest how that knowledge will help you. On the way home briefly mention what you learned and get your children talking about what they did, what fun they had, what songs they sang, and what their Bible story or Bible lesson was about. This will help to reinforce what your children learned. Try not to add your own lengthy sermon to what they say the lesson was; instead, be excited about it and praise them for what they're learning.

2. Talk to your children's teachers and find out what they're teaching. Talk to your children too, and help them with their lessons, just as you'd help them with their homework and talk to them about what they're learning at school. Help them to understand and memorize their memory verses, for example, and review during the week the Bible story or Bible passage they focused on the previous Sunday at church. If they learned a specific life principle, look for opportunities to encourage them in an upbeat way to apply what they learned, emphasizing the benefits of doing so.

3. Be sure, however, to make church not merely a learning process. Make it fun as well. If your church meets in the morning, take your children out to lunch afterward or prepare their favorite foods for lunch at home. Make Sunday afternoon special, with the purpose of having your children always look forward to "church day." Try to make the process of getting ready and traveling to and from church a positive one. If you're tired or not looking forward to going yourself, try to keep your whining muffled! If after church you're struggling with something someone said or you feel that you got less than nothing out of church that day, bite your tongue. Any negative comments you make will come back to haunt you in the future, disgused as the reasons your children want to stay home. Don't misunderstand: I'm not saying that we should always paste on smiles and pretend that our church is perfect.

4. When your church schedules something fun and extra, a field trip, a party, a play, a midweek kids' club, or anything else your children would enjoy or ask to attend make it a priority to get them there. Look for any and every opportunity to make church an enjoyable experience. Help them stay excited about it.

What's the purpose of the church, and how can it help my children? Part 1

If we want our children to adopt any life habit, life skill, or principle, we should explain to them why it's important and what the benefits are. Our job isn't done until they understand why we're asking them to do what we're asking them to do. The same goes for church. If we take or drag our children to church and never help them understand why, never help them see the purpose behind it, they'll find better things to do with their Sunday mornings when they're old enough to make the choice.

Three of the benefits church provides parents and children are help in teaching process, support by a loving community, and opportunities for choosing and building good friends.

1. Help in the teaching process

Life isn't lived in isolation, so it's very difficult to teach our children how to live and why a certain lifestyle is best unless they're involved in a larger group that supports and shares in the teaching process. This is one of the primary purposes for church in our children's lives: to help us in teaching our children about God and in preparing them for life. If we're the only ones involved in our children's spiritual life, the only ones who talk to them about God's pronciples and way of life, they may well end up thinking that anything that has to do with God is just our own personal hang-up.

Some people go to the other extreme. Many parents (and our culture in general) put the promary (or even solo) responsibility for teaching children spiritual matters on the church and its leaders. But it's impossible for pastors and teachers to teach kids how to live God's way when they see them only one or two hours a week.

There isn't a single place in the Bible that puts this responsibility on the church. The primary task is ours, as parents, with the church there to assist and support us. The people who teach our children at church are delighted when we take an active role in spiritually training our children, and they will serve as active and effective advocates with us in that process.

We need to help our children understand that one of the main reasons they go to church is to learn about God and his principles for life- knowledge that will help them be all that God wants them to be and have a good, rewarding life. It's fine to talk to them about all the fun they'll have, but we need to encourage them with the benefits of learning as well. (it's not unlike school. Although kids know that school can be fun and that they can spend time with their friends there, they also understand that the primary purpose of school is for them to learn and to gain the benefits of an education).

Incidentally, this learning angle will help you when your children become bored with church and don't want to go. If the only reason for going is to have fun, and they're not having fun, you have nothing left to motivate them with. But if one of the primary reasons for church attendance is for them to learn, then you can continue to motivate them to go, even as you seek ways of making the experience more enjoyable.

Is there value in having my kids memorize verses from the Bible?

Anyone who ever attended a Bible class or Sunday School class as a child remembers memorizing Bible verses and receiving candy or some other sort of prize for doing so. Our kids are doing the same, and we as parents are proud of our children when we hear them recite their verses, and we will often help them memorize them word for word. But what's the point of memorizing Bible verses?

Here's a picture that will help our children understand why and how it's beneficial for them to memorize Scripture. Say your son gets hired by an NBA team to play basketball. After the contract is signed, the coach hands him a thick book, the strategy and play manuel, and tells him to go over it thoroughly so that he can play in next week's game.

The first thing he'll do is read it through from cover to cover to get an idea of the team's overall approach and strategy. But then he'll need to go back over certain parts and study them. He'll read and reread those parts and think about them so that he'll know and understand what to do on the court. But he'll also memorize the different plays so that he'll know exactly what to do in each situation. In brief, he'll read for general understanding, study the important parts, and memorize key plays so that he'll know what to do in specific situations.

That's how we should treat the Bible, as the strategy and play manual for our lives. We should read it for a general understanding of life, study specific parts and topics so that we know how to function in life, and memorize key portions so that when life's circumstances put us on the spot we'll know what to do.

Receiving candy and prizes for memorizing Bible verses can be moticating, but if those rewards are the only reason for learning verses, we might as well have our kids memorize Shakespeare. Psalm 119:11 says that the Bible is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. The instructions in the Bible give us direction and help us make decisions. We should help our children memorize key verses, and make sure that they understand them, so that when particular situations arise they'll know how to respond.

There's no brownie point system in heaven that rewards our children for the number of Bible verses they can recite perfectly. It's far more important that our children memorize the meaning, intent, and purpose of a Bible verse than it is for them to memorize its exact wording.

The best verses to memorize with your children are the ones that you looked up together when you were trying to learn and understand one of life's principles. If you children are learning memory verses somewhere else and bringing them home, spend a little time with them to make sure that they understand what each verse means and how they can apply it. You'll find that their ability to memorize the actual words will increase drastically with practice. If you want to find key verses for your children to memorize, use one of the Bible reference tools found in the back of most Bibles, such as a topical study guide or a concordance.

Be an Example of Change

Making changes in family life is often a group project. Children may be more motivated to change when they see others trying to change as well—especially when those other people are their parents. Your transparency about your own weakness can be an encouragement to your kids.

Many parents have their anger meters set too tight. They react with intensity for even the smallest infraction of the rules. James 1:19-20 is helpful for us all to memorize: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for a man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” Character qualities like patience, persistence, and self-control help both children and parents to increase the tolerance level on their anger meter.

One single dad told us, “One morning, I got up, looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize the person I had become. I realized that I needed to make some changes in myself. Anger and bitterness were making me a hurtful person. As I began working on my own thoughts, feelings, and reactions, I was able to respond differently to life’s struggles. I was then surprised to see my kids change in response to what they saw in me. Things started moving in a positive direction for my family.”

Set the example for change in family life. Talk openly with your kids about the changes you’d like to see and the changes you’re working on in your own life. You may be surprised to find them following along behind you.

The Gratefulness Principle

Gratitude increases closeness. Look for opportunities to take advantage of gratefulness as you work to draw closer to your kids. Give your children small gifts of love day after day. Be careful, though, that you don’t confuse the gratefulness principle with the overindulgence trap.

Some parents, wanting their children to like them, recognize giving gifts opens the heart, so they overdo it by giving them too many things. Giving to your kids must be tied into relationship, or the gifts feed selfishness instead of gratefulness.

Overindulgence is giving your children more than their character can handle. When children lack gratitude, the more you give them, the less they appreciate. Parents must restrain themselves or they’ll exceed their child’s ability to manage the blessings. Overindulged children rarely become grateful when you give them more things. They grow to be more spoiled, demanding, and selfish. Parents then feel unappreciated and become resentful. The hearts of both parents and children harden toward each other, and closeness becomes a thing of the past.

When your children become overindulged rather than grateful, pull back on the area where you’re giving too much and look for ways to increase the areas where you’re lacking. Teaching the heart gratefulness can be a challenge. Having a child say thank you is just behavior. Gratefulness comes from the heart. Monitor your child’s response to gifts of love to determine if you’re growing gratitude or overindulgence.

As gratefulness increases, you can slowly give blessings in a way that will produce more gratefulness. You’ll know if you’re moving too quickly by your child’s response.

Overcomingt Selfishness with Honor

Overcoming Selfishness With Honor

Some parents are frustrated because their children are so self-focused that they can't seem to grasp the concept of honoring others. How can you help children think about other people instead of always thinking about themselves?

One helpful way is to teach kids to recognize emotions in others and then know how to respond accordingly. One dad wanted to work on honor with his seven-year-old daughter, Diane, who was self-centered, always talking and thinking about herself. He used a journal and, in the evening, asked Diane to identify examples of a friend or family member who was sad, mad, or glad that day. Then he asked the question, "How might you respond to that person in a helpful way?"

They continued this exercise every evening for two weeks. After awhile it helped Diane get outside of herself, look at the needs and feelings of others, and then talk about ways to respond with honor. When her brother is mad, it might be best to leave him alone or to just ask a helpful question. With her friend who is sad, she could offer to help and then listen empathetically. When Mom is glad, Diane could enter into that gladness by listening to the story and enjoying the situation too.

The Bible says in Philippians 2:3, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourselves." That's good advice for all of us. Seeing and responding to emotions in others is a great way to start.

Roasting Marshmallows

When it comes to roasting marshmallows there is no “right” way. Some prefer the slow roasting method, taking great care and patience to hold the mallow far enough away that the flame licks at the soft sweet outer shell ever so slightly, changing its color from snow white to a lovely light chocolate shade, then turning the air-filled sugar cube at the slightest noticeable change of color as to evenly roast the scrumptious morsel to perfection. While others prefer the fiery furnace of King Nebuchadnezzar approach thrusting the poor defenseless mallow between two logs making any possible escape from the inferno unfeasible. No turning is required with this method the color you are shooting for is a pleasant shade of pitch. Regardless of your particular approach to attaining mallow perfection, there are three main ingredients you will need to achieve roast completion; The Mallow, The Fire, and you. If you remove one of these items the process falls apart.

The mallow and the fire, without you, sit and stare want only at each other knowing that their future together rests in your hands. You and the Fire, while a cozy couple, will never attain smooth sugary bliss. The Mallow and you may enjoy quaint pleasantries but the relationship will die there because you can’t get past the chalky outer coating that stops you from bringing it to the next level. At this point you’re thinking, “What are you trying to say.” It’s really quite clear.In the Gospels, we are given an account of a time when parents where bringing their children to Jesus so he could touch them as recorded in Mark 10:13 and Luke 18:15. In Matthew 19:13, the phrase “to lay hands on them” is used. The word “touched” in Mark and Luke carries with it the idea of fastening fire to a thing or to kindle. The phrase “to lay hands on them” in the book of Matthew was used when determining and controlling the destinies of man.

Let me see if I can clear all this up. Your child is the mallow, Jesus is the fire, and you… are you. In the fire the mallow finds completion of calling and so your child finds completion of destiny in Jesus. It is not up to you to produce the fire that brings the mallow to its glory but your role is only to introduce the mallow to the flame and let the flame do what it does.When was the last time you introduced your child to Jesus the one who determines and controls the destinies of man and asked Him to speak that destiny over your child and ignite it with fire to bring it to its completion. Don’t wait until the next church service or summer camp or kids conference. The fire is available in your house, at the dinner table, in the living room, in the backyard on the swing set, in the bedroom right before bed time.Introduce your child to the presence of an almighty God and Let Him set your child on fire with the call and destiny he has chosen for them.