It Starts in the Heart

Strong-willed children need a solid, inner sense of direction to keep them on the right road. Those who are unmotivated need a passion to help them stay the course. Where does all this come from? It comes from the heart. So, wherever your child fits, you must start with the heart to see lasting change take place.

The disciple Peter was strong willed. He was quick to share his idea about building shelters for Elijah, Moses, and Jesus after the transfiguration (Matt. 17:4) He was the one who wanted to step out on the water to walk toward Jesus during a storm (Matt 14:28). Peter needed a lot of redirection in his early life, but when it was time to pick someone to preach the sermon on Pentecost, Peter was chosen. Jesus was patient as he worked inside Peter's heart to build a man who could do the right thing, even under pressure.

When it came to pleasing his girlfriend, Samson was unmotivated to remain righteous (Judg 16:17) Although physically strong, he didn't have the internal stamina to withstand temptation, and tragedy struck his life. Wen God called Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, he had to coax him along the way. Moses seemed rather unmotivated, content just to live on the backside of the desert. But God had another idea. Moses gave five excuses for not obeying God, and each time God revealed another answer, patiently guiding him to do what he was called to do (Ex 3-4). Over time, Moses became a great leader, but God worked hard to bring him to that point. It took time to build in Moses' heart a confidence that God could handle any problem that might come.

Helping children develop a stronger will or redirecting their already strong will is a challenge in any home. The daily work of family life poses many opportunities to make changes. Instead of just reacting to the needs of the moment, parents would do better to identify the issues of the will and use a heart-based approach. Long range solutions are always heart related. Yes, you have to set limits and hold children accountable; but as you do, keep your focus on the heart. In the end, it's the heart change that your child needs to adequately guide the will.