Taking Those you Love for Granted

We tend to take for granted those we are closest to. It was Jesus who said "Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor." If we're not careful, the family can be a place where people take each other for granted. The phrase, "Familiarity breeds contempt" says the same thing. We believe that the solution to this dilemma is to continually grow in honor.

Honor treats people as special and looks for ways to value others.One day a man came home and found his house a disaster. The kids were still in their pajamas outside playing in the mud. Empty food boxes and wrappers littered the house. Dishes were on the counter, dog food was all over the floor and a broken glass lay under the table. Toys and clothes cluttered the playroom and a lamp was lying on its side. He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, looking for his wife. He was worried that she was sick, or that something worse might have happened. He found her in the bedroom, still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a book. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked, "How was your day?"

"What in the world happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know everyday when you come home from work and ask me what I did today?" "Yes. . . ?""Well, today I didn't do it!"Take a moment and consider who in your family you've been taking for granted. Give a little time to show honor.

What will Heaven be Like

The Bible tells us very little about what heaven will be like, but what it does tell us is exciting enough. Jesus spoke about the "kingdom of heaven." We enter that kingdom when we become God's children. We're then under his authority and care forever. As we trust and follow him, we can experience his love right here and now; and the Bible teaches us that when we, as God's children, die, we'll go to be with the Father. That place isn't really described in the Bible, but we know that we'll enter into the spiritual realm, where God is.

Jesus told us that he was going to prepare a special place for us, an awesome place where we can be with him:

"There are many rooms in my Father's house. If this were not true, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. If I go and do that, I will come back. And I will take you to be with me. Then you will also be where I am." (John 14:2-3)

That place Jesus is preparing is the place where we'll go with him after he returns to earth.

Other passages in the Bible teach that after the second coming of Jesus, God is going to remodel, and we'll receive an all-new heaven and earth. The book of Revelation talks about the phenomenal place this will be:

"I heard a loud voice from the throne. It said, "Now God makes his home with human beings. He will live with them. They will be his people. And God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or sadness. There will be no more crying or pain. Things are no longer the way they used to be." (Revelation 21:3-4)

Whether we're talking about the kingdom of heaven to which we belong now, or the place we'll go to when we die, or the realm we'll live in at the end of this age, the common elements are God's care and presence and our relationship with him. The scenery may change as we go from life to death and from one age to the next, but the ultimate privilage and joy of knowing God and experiencing his love will only get better and better as we draw closer to him. And we can trust that whatever God his in store for us will always be beyond our expectations.

The key features of heaven, then, are our relationship with God and our receiving his love, care, blessings, and goodness; features that start not after death but when we become God's children and begin the process of getting to know him daily.

When we talk to our children about heaven, we can tell them what a great place it will be, but the emphasis should always be on why it will be so phenomenal: heaven will be great because we'll be even more directly in God's presence and in his care. With that emphasis we can help our kids understand that they're citizens of heaven now. In the following verse, which is often quoted as talking about heaven, the Apostle Paul is talking about much more than the hereafter; he's talking about everything involved in being a Christian, from becoming God's child to the far reaches of eternity:

"It is written, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has known what God has prepared for those who love him." (1 Corinthians 2:9)

What can I Tell my Kids about heaven

Are Groundhogs called Cloudhogs when they get to heaven?

Children have a ton of questions about heaven. I guess the same is true for all of us- it's a fascinating topic.

We live in a world that's broken, inhabited by people who are continuing to do things their way instead of following the guidebook for life. But ever since Adam and Eve moved out of the Garden of Eden, this world has been just a temporary home for humanity. The Bible tells us that this earth will be replaced with a new and improved, updated model when Jesus comes back at the end of this stage of world history.

Ever since the big move out of the Garden of Eden, we've all had a deep-seated desire for a perfect place to live, a perfect world; a desire for home. When we tell our children about how much God loves them and wants the best for them, the following question has to come up: "Why, then, are we living in this imperfect world polluted by hate, war, greed, and suffering?" We need to help our children understand that they'll live forever, and that their short stint here on earth is just the beginning of the awesome and wonderful plans God has for us. We may be stuck in an unfortunate stage of human history, but it's just for a short time when seen in the perspective of God's eternal plans for us.

Yes, God wants to give our children the best possible life here on earth. But we should help them look forward to the rest of their life, in eternity, where things will be incredible, where there will be no sadness, crying, war, death, or suffering, but only good and awesome experiences and opportunities. The hope for a better place and an eternity with God can give our children the extra encouragement they need to keep on doing things God's way, even when the going gets tough.

When we consier eternity with God and his plans for us as his children, the sixty or eighty or a hundred years spent here on earth hardly seem to deserve the attention we give them. But the years here are important, not because they're all there is, but because they're a preparation for and the beginning of an eternally growing relationship with God.

What Do angels do? Do I have an angel?

The Bible tells us that God's angels do his bidding; they're sent by God to do things on behalf of us, his children. The Bible tells of angels bringing messages to God's children, protecting them, helping them escape impossible situations, bringing them food, strengthening them, and even fighting on their behalf. A verse in the New Testament book of Hebrews tells us to welcome strangers, adding, "By doing that, some people have welcomed angels without knowing it" (Hebrews 13:2)

The Bible doesn't clearly say whether or not each one of us has a guardian angel, or even if angels are constantly present. Angels may just show up as they're needed. On the other hand, since angels are beings in the spirit realm, where the dimensions of time and distance aren't a factor, the whole question might be moot. Regardless, our trust is to be in God, act on our behalf when God has instructed them to do so. Angels don't act on their own initiative when it comes to their interactions with us; every example in the Bible depicts angels as strictly following God's instructions.

One verse in the Bible, a direct quote from Jesus, implies that children are looked after by angels, and that each child has a particular angel assigned to him or her. Jesus gave us so little information that it's impossible to nail down any exact details, but this verse of Scripture is the source of the concept of guardian angels (especially guardian angels for children.)

"See that you don't look down on one of these little ones. Here is what I tell you. Their angels in heaven can go at any time to see my father who is in heaven." (Matthew 18:10)

When talking to our children about angels, our emphasis should be on God's care and love. Angels are awesome beings that deserve respect, and we'll be living alongside them eventually. But they're not greater than we are, and they shouldn't be worshiped or prayed to. Once, while having a vision, the Apostle John bowed down to worship an angel, but the angel told him not to, explaining that he and John were both servants of God.

Angels are not to be our children's invisible friends or guides. The only time people in the Bible talked to angels is when an angel showed up with a message from God- as, for example, when the angel Gabriel brought a message to Mary. These conversations always focused on God's will and message, never on the thoughts or opinions of an angel. It's God who is to be our children's ever-present friend and guide. He's the only one who can hear their prayers and help them always. Angels are only created beings like ourselves.

Talking about and teaching our children about angels can be interesting and faith inspiring, but if we take our ideas and thoughts about angels beyond what the Bible says, we send the message to our kids that it's okay to speculate about spiritual things that aren't in the Bible. That can confuse our children as they get older and are exposed to a smorgasbord of spiritual ideas and theories that come from the human imagination without any basis in Scripture.

What do angels do? Do I have an angel?

What Exactly are Angels?

Many stories, especially those that have come to the big screen or television, have depicted angels as humans who've passed on from this world and are now back in a different form to assist us. Yet the Bible teaches that angels and humans are completely different, created differently and separately by God. Angels don't become humans and humans don't become angels. They're as different from each other as birds are from fish. Instead, angels are depicted in the Bible as powerful and majestic beings that live in Gods presence and work in his service.

We need to be careful not to confuse how we treat truth and how we treat fiction with our children. Angels aren't in the same category as Tinkerbel and the tooth fairy, imaginary characters we can make up stories about to suit the moment. If we tell our kids that there's an angel behind every star, or that many angels can fit on the head of a pin, or that they themselves will become angels when they die, or that angels look like Cupid, or that Cupid is a real angel, our children will eventually question everything else we teach them about our faith.

When we're dealing with biblical information and truth- even about fantastic issues such as heaven and angels it's important that we either give our children accurate answers or tell them that we don't know or aren't sure. And if we're not sure, we can look up with our children the various stories and verses in the Bible that mention angels and talk about the issue in that context. With our younger children, we can read all the stories in their Bible storybooks that menion angles.

How can I answer my kids questions about angels?

Angels. Who doesn't get a warm and fuzzy feeling when talking about angels? And who doesn't get a million questions from the kids as soon as the topic comes up? It seems that we all, from youngest to oldest, have a tremendoes curiosity about these spectacular beings and the place they inhabit in our imagination and dreams.

Angels have been depicted in many different ways over the centuries, from naked, chubby little children with small wings, to beautiful women with long flowing robes and large wings, to men dressed in white and glowing robes. Sometimes they've been depicted with halos, sometimes without; sometimes with harps, sometimes without; and sometimes even with Cupid's bow and arrows. There isn't much to learn about angels from these images, however-from artists' renderings, curio-store figurines, and characters in movies and television shows- except that the idea of angels inspires artists' imagination.

The book that contains stories, descriptions, and information about angels is the Bible, and that's where we should look when searching for answers to questions concerning these wonderful beings.

Every time angels appear in the Bible they appear as men. In some passages they're depicted as looking no different than ordinary men, but elsewhere they're described as majestic, awe-inspiring, and powerful in appearance. Although there's no biblical recond of any angel appearing as a woman, gender isn't part of the essence of angels, as these words from Jesus reveal:

"At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven." (Matthew 22:30)

Oddly enough, there is no mention anywhere in the Bible of angels having wings. Other fantastic creatures metioned in the Bible, called cherubim and seraphim, are described as having wings, but these creatures are very different in appearance from the angels mentioned everywhere else in the Bible. There have more than one set of wings and also more than one face. Some people believe, and it's possible, that angels can take on more than one form and that they appear in the likeness of men only in order for us to be able to relate to them. Since the Bible isn't clear on this, it's possible better to assume that they look rather like us than to dress them up in fancy wings and such.

Nor is there any mention in the Bible of angels having halos. Halos were invented by artists as a way of depicting God's light or glory shining from angels and/or saints.

How to explain to my children when their prayer aren't answered part 2

There are many yes answers but there are also requests to which we can anticipate receiving a definite no from God, as the Bible shows. We'll call these requests "no prayers." For example, the Bible says that God is love and that we're to forgive people who wrong us. Understanding that, we know that if we get really mad at someone and pray that God will punish him or her on our behalf, the answer will be no.

The majority of things that our children talk to God about fall into the same category as the majority of things they talk to us about: they're prayers that might get a yes answer or might get a no answer. We'll call them "maybe prayers." Occasionally the parallel breaks down here, unfortunately, because we're less than perfect as parents. Our children may ask us for something that's actually perfectly reasonable. Thinking just of them, we should give a yes answer, but the answer becomes no because to grant the request would greatly inconvenence us, or perhaps we're just too tired to do the work required of a yes response.

Whenever our children ask God for something reasonable and there's no reason that they shouldn't have it, the answer will be yes. But as in the go-cart example, there are many times that a maybe prayer receives a no answer or a not yet answer from God because he knows the bigger picture: he knows how the answer will affect us, he knows our life schedule, and he knows whether a yes answer to this request would take us in the wrong direction. He knows what's good for us and what isn't, and what's safe and what isn't. God hears and responds to every one of our maybe prayers, but we need to help our children realize that he answers according to his greater knowledge of who we are, where we are, and where we're going. But we can always be sure that his answer is in our best interest.

At some point your children might wonder, If all of this is true, then why pray? Why not just let what's going to happen, happen? The parallel drawn in the previous blog between your children asking you and them asking God will help you and them asking God will help you answer this question. Although your kids can trust you, if they never let you know what they wanted or expressed their interests and preferences, they'd end up missing out on a lot that you'd have been willing to give them if they'd talked to you about it.

Nothing gets by God. He knows what we need and desire, but because he gave us a will and wants a relationship with us in which we express our interests, preferences, and desires, he doesn't automatically do things in our life. The New Testament writer James sums it up by saying, "you don't have what you want, becaus eyou don't ask God" (James 4:2) When it comes to yes prayers and maybe prayers, God wants us to talk to him and ask him for things, and he wants to do the things that we'd like in our life. It's a partnership, a relationship.

That's the way God set it up, and that's the way he made it work. The more we talk to him and spend time getting to know him and letting him know what it is that we want and need, the more he does in our lives.

How do I explain things to my children when their prayers aren't answered?

The best way to explain to our children how God answers or doesn't answer their prayers is to agian draw a simple parallel between their asking us for things and their asking God for things.

There are basically three answers children can anticipate when asking parents for something: yes, which may come with some stipulation or adjustment to the original request; no, which is usually accompanied by one or more good reasons; and maybe, the category that most parental responses fall into.

Our children make certain requests of us with the expectation of getting a yes answer- requests for things that they basically already know our will on. For instance, if we always let them have friends over on the weekend, let them watch a certain television show, allow them to have a snack at a certain time, or take them out for lunch after church, they'd anticipate a yes if they were to ask if things were going to be the same as usual. In the case of having friends over on the weekend, our kids might even tell their friends that they're sure it will be okay.

Then there are requests that our kids fully expect to get a no answer to. For example, if it's an established family rule that we don't have friends over on school nights, or that no one turns on the TV until homework is done, or that a big bowl of ice cream after school isn't an acceptable snack, then if our kids asked us if we'd consider making an exception, they'd anticipate a no.

Finally, there are a whole lot of requests that our children make of us that have no predetermined answer. Nothing in the past would help our kids anticipate with any certainty what our answer might be. They know that the answer could be either yes or no, depending on what kinds of things we consider in the decision making process. For example, if a go-cart track had opened up a few miles from home and our children's friends had gone there and had a great time, our children might well ask us to take them there. If they knew that we often took the family out on special outings similar to this, they'd have reason to hope for a yes, although they couldn't be sure. After all, there might be factors that they're not aware of that would cause us to say no or not yet, factors such as the family budget, other plans for the weekend, or safety concerns.

This parallel holds true when our children request things from God. There are many things outlined in the Bible that God has already said he'll either give us or agree to. For example, God has told us again and agian that he'll meet our basic needs, needs for food, clothing, shelter, and so on. And we know that he has instructed us, for our own good, to follow his principles, but he has also said that he'll help us learn to follow those principles. So if we ask God to help us always tell the truth, or be a better friend, or learn to say only kind things, or control our anger, we know that the answer is predetermined: it's yes. We'll call these prayers "yes prayers."

There are many yes prayers outlined in the Bible. As we've discussed, the Bible helps us know who God is, what he's like, and what he's willing to do. That's why getting to know and read our Bible is essential for developing a strong prayer life and a close relationship with God. As we get to know the Bible better; we'll know more about what we can ask God for and anticipate a yes.

Next time we will get into the no and maybe prayers

Are memorized prayers important, and are they effective?

A good way to explain the answer to this question to your children is to draw a parallel with the conversations we have with each other. In everyday conversation we use many words, sentences, phrases, and even sets of sentences and phrases that we've memorized and simply repeat. For example, every time we see someone new in a day we exchange a fairly standard set of phrases: "Hello!" "Hi. How are you?" "I'm fine. And how are you?" "I'm well, thank you." And when someone says, "Thank you," our standard response is, "You're welcome." All these phrases are fine; indeed, it would be difficult to get by without them. But we can use them as a formula only, or we can say them from the heart and mean them. "How are you?" is sometimes a genuine question and sometimes nothing more than a routine phrase.

We also quote well known lines and phrases that have come to mean a certain thing or are appropriate at certain points in a conversation; for example, "Don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes' or "Three strikes and you're out." Sometimes these quotes are for the sake of humor; other times, since everyone understands their meaning and intent, they bring unity of understanding and help us get our point across. If we took those same phrases and threw them just anywhere in a conversation, in any context, they would neither make sense nor be appropriate. In fact, quoting memorized statements and phrases properly, appropriately, and in the right context takes as much thought as (or more thought than) just using our own words.

Yet no matter how well timed our quotes, if our entire conversation were a long string of memorized exchanges, humorous phrases, and famous quotes, people would begin to wonder if we ever had an original thought. An appropriate balance between our own words and borrowed words is necessary for true conversation- conversation that's sincere and that encourages relationship by revealing who we are and how we feel.

The same is true when we talk with God. We can have a certain way of opening our prayers and closing our prayers, or specific and repeated ways in which we pray about certain things. But if we stop thinking about what those standard elements mean and stop saying them sincerely, form the heart, they become meaningless.

We might also sometimes use memorized prayers that come from prayer books or from famous church leaders or from the Bible. If these are inserted in the right context and are used to express the true intent of our hearts and say what we truly want to say to or ask of God, then they add wonderfully to our prayer life. But if they're repeated as filler or as a set of magic words, they become flat and lifeless.

If our entire time with God consisted of a long stream of memorized prayers and Bible verses or a single memorized prayer; our words would contain very little of ourselves. Using that sort of prayer, it would be difficult to talk about our thoughts and feelings with God and to develop an honest relationship.

With our children this is expecially true. As adults we can say a memorized prayer or quote a favorite Bible verse and do so with passion, perhaps remembering an experience or an emotion associated with the words. But children tend to concentrate on the memorized words and on getting them said. Younger children particularly have difficulty reflecting on memorized prayers while they're saying them.

But when used in context and in proper balance, memorized prayers can be a very helpful addition to a child's prayer life. When we introduce our children to a new prayer for memorization, we should first help them thoroughly understand what it means. We should also help them understand when to pray it: at those times when it expresses what they want to say to or ask of God.

Because practical prayers often have more structure than casual prayers, they lend themselves to being memorized and repeated. But even if our children use standard practical prayers, we can have them add fresh new thoughts and prayers about different people, items, and events. We can also encourage them to speak to God from the heart, without benefit of memorized prayers, when they're engaged in casual prayer with their Heavenly Father.

Younger children will often say the same prayers in the same way every night. There's no harm in this; it's quite natural. We should, however; encourage them to think of one or two new prayers and new topics they can talk to God about each day. We should also encourage them to say their usual prayers slowly, reminding them that they're talking to a real person who's really listening.