How do I explain things to my children when their prayers aren't answered?

The best way to explain to our children how God answers or doesn't answer their prayers is to agian draw a simple parallel between their asking us for things and their asking God for things.

There are basically three answers children can anticipate when asking parents for something: yes, which may come with some stipulation or adjustment to the original request; no, which is usually accompanied by one or more good reasons; and maybe, the category that most parental responses fall into.

Our children make certain requests of us with the expectation of getting a yes answer- requests for things that they basically already know our will on. For instance, if we always let them have friends over on the weekend, let them watch a certain television show, allow them to have a snack at a certain time, or take them out for lunch after church, they'd anticipate a yes if they were to ask if things were going to be the same as usual. In the case of having friends over on the weekend, our kids might even tell their friends that they're sure it will be okay.

Then there are requests that our kids fully expect to get a no answer to. For example, if it's an established family rule that we don't have friends over on school nights, or that no one turns on the TV until homework is done, or that a big bowl of ice cream after school isn't an acceptable snack, then if our kids asked us if we'd consider making an exception, they'd anticipate a no.

Finally, there are a whole lot of requests that our children make of us that have no predetermined answer. Nothing in the past would help our kids anticipate with any certainty what our answer might be. They know that the answer could be either yes or no, depending on what kinds of things we consider in the decision making process. For example, if a go-cart track had opened up a few miles from home and our children's friends had gone there and had a great time, our children might well ask us to take them there. If they knew that we often took the family out on special outings similar to this, they'd have reason to hope for a yes, although they couldn't be sure. After all, there might be factors that they're not aware of that would cause us to say no or not yet, factors such as the family budget, other plans for the weekend, or safety concerns.

This parallel holds true when our children request things from God. There are many things outlined in the Bible that God has already said he'll either give us or agree to. For example, God has told us again and agian that he'll meet our basic needs, needs for food, clothing, shelter, and so on. And we know that he has instructed us, for our own good, to follow his principles, but he has also said that he'll help us learn to follow those principles. So if we ask God to help us always tell the truth, or be a better friend, or learn to say only kind things, or control our anger, we know that the answer is predetermined: it's yes. We'll call these prayers "yes prayers."

There are many yes prayers outlined in the Bible. As we've discussed, the Bible helps us know who God is, what he's like, and what he's willing to do. That's why getting to know and read our Bible is essential for developing a strong prayer life and a close relationship with God. As we get to know the Bible better; we'll know more about what we can ask God for and anticipate a yes.

Next time we will get into the no and maybe prayers