Are memorized prayers important, and are they effective?

A good way to explain the answer to this question to your children is to draw a parallel with the conversations we have with each other. In everyday conversation we use many words, sentences, phrases, and even sets of sentences and phrases that we've memorized and simply repeat. For example, every time we see someone new in a day we exchange a fairly standard set of phrases: "Hello!" "Hi. How are you?" "I'm fine. And how are you?" "I'm well, thank you." And when someone says, "Thank you," our standard response is, "You're welcome." All these phrases are fine; indeed, it would be difficult to get by without them. But we can use them as a formula only, or we can say them from the heart and mean them. "How are you?" is sometimes a genuine question and sometimes nothing more than a routine phrase.

We also quote well known lines and phrases that have come to mean a certain thing or are appropriate at certain points in a conversation; for example, "Don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes' or "Three strikes and you're out." Sometimes these quotes are for the sake of humor; other times, since everyone understands their meaning and intent, they bring unity of understanding and help us get our point across. If we took those same phrases and threw them just anywhere in a conversation, in any context, they would neither make sense nor be appropriate. In fact, quoting memorized statements and phrases properly, appropriately, and in the right context takes as much thought as (or more thought than) just using our own words.

Yet no matter how well timed our quotes, if our entire conversation were a long string of memorized exchanges, humorous phrases, and famous quotes, people would begin to wonder if we ever had an original thought. An appropriate balance between our own words and borrowed words is necessary for true conversation- conversation that's sincere and that encourages relationship by revealing who we are and how we feel.

The same is true when we talk with God. We can have a certain way of opening our prayers and closing our prayers, or specific and repeated ways in which we pray about certain things. But if we stop thinking about what those standard elements mean and stop saying them sincerely, form the heart, they become meaningless.

We might also sometimes use memorized prayers that come from prayer books or from famous church leaders or from the Bible. If these are inserted in the right context and are used to express the true intent of our hearts and say what we truly want to say to or ask of God, then they add wonderfully to our prayer life. But if they're repeated as filler or as a set of magic words, they become flat and lifeless.

If our entire time with God consisted of a long stream of memorized prayers and Bible verses or a single memorized prayer; our words would contain very little of ourselves. Using that sort of prayer, it would be difficult to talk about our thoughts and feelings with God and to develop an honest relationship.

With our children this is expecially true. As adults we can say a memorized prayer or quote a favorite Bible verse and do so with passion, perhaps remembering an experience or an emotion associated with the words. But children tend to concentrate on the memorized words and on getting them said. Younger children particularly have difficulty reflecting on memorized prayers while they're saying them.

But when used in context and in proper balance, memorized prayers can be a very helpful addition to a child's prayer life. When we introduce our children to a new prayer for memorization, we should first help them thoroughly understand what it means. We should also help them understand when to pray it: at those times when it expresses what they want to say to or ask of God.

Because practical prayers often have more structure than casual prayers, they lend themselves to being memorized and repeated. But even if our children use standard practical prayers, we can have them add fresh new thoughts and prayers about different people, items, and events. We can also encourage them to speak to God from the heart, without benefit of memorized prayers, when they're engaged in casual prayer with their Heavenly Father.

Younger children will often say the same prayers in the same way every night. There's no harm in this; it's quite natural. We should, however; encourage them to think of one or two new prayers and new topics they can talk to God about each day. We should also encourage them to say their usual prayers slowly, reminding them that they're talking to a real person who's really listening.