With commitments, determinations, and emotions all converging in the heart, it's no wonder temptation germinates there.
Matthew 6:21 says, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." SOlomon's "wives turned his heart after other gods" (1 Kings 11:4). Paul wrote, "My heart's desire and prayer to God for the Israelites is that they may be saved" (Rom 10:1)
Clearly, desires aren't always bad; in fact, many human longings are good. Knowing the difference, however, can be a challenge at times. Of course, we all wish your children would desire the right things and avoid tempting situations. One mom saw her eight-year-old daughter was easily swayed by her friends. She looked for ways to help her daughter take a stand for righteousness. She talked with her daughter about what was right and wrong in various situations and helped her see what temptation is and how she was making some dangerous choices by giving in to her friends. The girl responded well to her mother and began to lok for ways to stand for what's right.
A twelve year old asked his mom why she doesn't get angry when she gets cutt off on the road, giving Mom a perfect opportunity to talk about how she lets it go so she doesn't have to harbor the anger. She knew he needed that message, because he'd been treated unfairly at school and was tempted to act out his own anger. He listened and pondered what she said. Mom watched the wheels turn in his head and knew she had just connected somewhere deep inside her son.
To command a child to "stop having a bad attitude" may draw attention to the child's problem, but it doesn't usually address the heart issues the attitude represents. Excusing a child's disrespect by saying, "At least he does what I tell him to do," focuses on behavior and misses an opportunity to do some deeper work.
It's important to discipline children for wrong behavior, but that's not enough. Children often need help procesing much of what they're wrestling with on the inside. Their feelings may dominate their decisions. they may long for closeness but not know how to get it. God has placed parents in a position in their children's lives to help this process.
Sometimes a well-meaning Christian will say something like "I don't think it's possible to work on the heart. That's God's job. Children who haven't yet committed their lives to Christ can't change their hearts, so asking parents to do so is just a waste of time." Although it's true that supreme heart change takes place through the gift of salvation, God has given parents the responsibility to till the soil and teach their children how to respond to God's continual work of grace in their lives. The Bible uses the term repentance to describe the personal responsibility we all have to change our hearts. God expects people to respond to him, and he calls them to repentance regularly in his Word. Parents are in a God-given role of teaching their children every day what it means to respond to God. When you understand your potential as a dad or mom in your child's life, you can understand the huge spiritual opportunity and responsibility God has given you.
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